Mailwatch(ed) Forum

mail scribes will just fawn over the quality of this journalism. They'll be in for mega bucks.

A few weeks late with this, but the Sunday Life (NI Sunday paper, sister to the Belfast Telegraph) had this at the bottom of a report of a man that shouted "kill all dirty, stinking Catholics" in a viral video whom is awaiting sentencing after choking a woman unconscious...

“Now I have Provos trying to figure out where I am so they can come and get me. They are threatening to shoot me — and there’s constant threats to kill me.”

Hanna, whose bail address was given as Brookfield Gardens, Ahoghill, is due to be sentenced for assault and criminal damage in September.

Bunch of touts!

https://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/sund ... 62217.html

"That's Domingo from Little Malden, nice tapas restaurant there..."

I've been in Ahoghill*. For those who find neighbouring Ballymena a bit too cosmopolitan and cultured. Seat of the Paisley clan.


I'd choose the 'RA.


*That's pronounced A-hoh-hill for those of you who were wondering. Like a sneeze with a cough and a hiccup in the middle.

I read a comment yesterday about how local newspaper sites were so bad as to be unreadable. I clicked on a story on the local Guardian and this came up...

How does anyone sign this off as a design?

Malcolm Armsteen wrote: ↑Sat Dec 10, 2022 10:05 amHow does anyone sign this off as a design?

The accountants, most likely.

All those local newspaper websites seem to have been set up using the same template, and consequently they are all completely shite. Shite layout, full of so many fucking ads and autoplay video clips they take an age to open, and about as user-friendly as a level 58 sudoku puzzle.

Pish. Utter pish.

Very much the Nolan Sorrento* ideal, as much advertising as possible without causing a seizure.

*Villain in book and film Ready Player One.

Meanwhile in Cambridgeshire, Fenland wallaby sightings are causing frenzied excitement among the local press. Kath from the Cambs Times is even on the frontline. To help the police with their enquiries; its Australia.

Is it a hare ? Is it a deer? It’s the wayward Warboys wallaby!
You could be mistaken for thinking you were seeing things but fair dinkum to our reporter Kath Sansom who spotted the wannabee kangaroo hopping along the side of the A141 on the way home from Huntingdon.

A call to the non emergency Cambridgeshire Police came back with a reply of: “Don’t worry, it is perfectly happy, we get calls all the time.

“It seems to have made its home round here,” leaving the baffled unanswered question of where exactly did the wallaby come from in the first place? https://www.cambstimes.co.uk/news/22872 ... s-wallaby/

I assume with the local news websites, as a lot of local papers are owned by the same group they have to all use the same house template

Youngian wrote: ↑Sun Dec 11, 2022 3:10 am Meanwhile in Cambridgeshire, Fenland wallaby sightings are causing frenzied excitement among the local press. Kath from the Cambs Times is even on the frontline. To help the police with their enquiries; its Australia.

Is it a hare ? Is it a deer? It’s the wayward Warboys wallaby!
You could be mistaken for thinking you were seeing things but fair dinkum to our reporter Kath Sansom who spotted the wannabee kangaroo hopping along the side of the A141 on the way home from Huntingdon.

A call to the non emergency Cambridgeshire Police came back with a reply of: “Don’t worry, it is perfectly happy, we get calls all the time.

“It seems to have made its home round here,” leaving the baffled unanswered question of where exactly did the wallaby come from in the first place? https://www.cambstimes.co.uk/news/22872 ... s-wallaby/

You are Lady Susan Hussey and I claim my five pounds.

May I introduce you to the journalistic behemoth that is Poppy Huggett.

https://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/new ... n/?ref=rss

Her report reads

Pictures from the scene of a crash in Wimbledon show a car left completely smashed up with the bottom hanging off.

The car crashed into a bollard in Wimbledon on Friday evening (October 13), at the junction of The Alexandra pub and Elys Department Store in Wimbledon.

Police say there has been no reports of any serious injuries.

Picture shows a car which has run over a keep left sign, and has a smashed bumper and lower valance. Apart from that, no damage...

Desperate stuff.

Youngian wrote: ↑Sun Dec 11, 2022 3:10 am Meanwhile in Cambridgeshire, Fenland wallaby sightings are causing frenzied excitement among the local press. Kath from the Cambs Times is even on the frontline. To help the police with their enquiries; its Australia.

Is it a hare ? Is it a deer? It’s the wayward Warboys wallaby!
You could be mistaken for thinking you were seeing things but fair dinkum to our reporter Kath Sansom who spotted the wannabee kangaroo hopping along the side of the A141 on the way home from Huntingdon.

A call to the non emergency Cambridgeshire Police came back with a reply of: “Don’t worry, it is perfectly happy, we get calls all the time.

“It seems to have made its home round here,” leaving the baffled unanswered question of where exactly did the wallaby come from in the first place? https://www.cambstimes.co.uk/news/22872 ... s-wallaby/

leaving the baffled unanswered question of where exactly did the wallaby come from in the first place?

Originally Australia.

But there was a bit of a fad for Brideshead Revisited sort of "big house people" to import harmless but exotic species to populate their grounds.
Golden pheasants and peacocks were the popular choice.

There's an Island in Loch Lomond where the inter-war owners had a party house and a few Wallabies.
The house is in disrepair, and there are now lots of Wallabies.

I now have an image of wallabies driving an assorted medley of desert vehicles, one of them playing a flamethrower guitar, all of them with silver paint across their muzzles, determined to ride the highways of Valhalla, erm, Cambridgeshire, shiny and chrome!

Bones McCoy wrote: ↑Mon Oct 16, 2023 3:20 pm Originally Australia.

But there was a bit of a fad for Brideshead Revisited sort of "big house people" to import harmless but exotic species to populate their grounds.
Golden pheasants and peacocks were the popular choice.

Unfortunately some of these fucking Hoorays brought grey squirrels in too, a critter I would delight in seeing extinguished in the UK

As for yon wallaby - that'd explain the odd unlucky roadkill ones I've seen on the A1 near Buckden.

Not only brought grey squirrels in, but gave them as presents to their friends for their own estates, and let a bunch of them go in Regents Park.

The 11th Duke of Bedford did all of the above.

Keeping local reporters excited throughout the country.

Inchconnachan: The British island where wallabies rule

Once the rural retreat of a powerboat-racing countess, this uninhabited isle is now a slow-travel paradise that's home to Scotland's most exotic mammal.

https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/2021 ... abies-rule

Wallabies. Is Mailwatch on drugs?

Don’t you wish Berlin had wallabies as well as feral bears on the loose?

Is it a hare ? Is it a deer? It’s the wayward Warboys wallaby!

You could be mistaken for thinking you were seeing things but fair dinkum to our reporter Kath Sansom who spotted the wannabee kangaroo hopping along the side of the A141 on the way home from Huntingdon.

A call to the non emergency Cambridgeshire Police came back with a reply of: “Don’t worry, it is perfectly happy, we get calls all the time. https://www.cambstimes.co.uk/news/22872 ... s-wallaby/

Travellers may also not also realise this famed unfettered right to roam is bollocks in practice. Scotland is infested with by-laws in peak season to restrict camping in spots that look like good camping places. Kayaking out to wallaby island isn’t very practical.

Few travellers may realise that, like Sweden's famed law of wanderlust, Scotland is one of just a handful of countries in the world (and the only country in the UK) where wild camping is legal. And while certain parts of the Loch Lomond & The Trossachs National Park are protected by wild camping byelaws between March and September, thanks to Scotland's 2003 Land Reform Act, anyone is free to camp on most unenclosed land throughout the country – including on Inchconnachan.