[Abernathy]

Here in Birmingham Hall Green, we have the dubious pleasure of the candidacy of one Shakeel Afsar.

You may remember this hateful little cunt. He led the disgraceful homophobic campaign of picketing outside the Anderton Park primary school a few years ago, and he has recorded several incidences of homophobic and anti-semitic abuse since then. He is in short, a rather disgusting, repellent human being. He even went to the Batley & Spen by-election in support of Galloway.

Any how, as you can see from the image, his leaflet came through my letterbox today.

As you'd expect, he promises to sort out Gaza and Kashmir, clean up the streets, solve the housing crisis, improve public transport, and, incredibly, "promote diversity snd inclusivity in the community", and much, much more - in sort, he is promising fucking everything.

But to the point. It struck me reading this crap just how easily Afsar has fallen into using classic political cliche. For example, he promises that he will "work tirelessly to ensure that our community is a safe, welcoming, and thriving place for all residents" . Tirelessly ? Really? Every cunt says they'll work fucking "tirelessly". Do they all have access to some miracle drug that lets you work perpetually without ever getting a bit tired ? It's bollocks. In reality, people work hard for a bit, get tired and have a bit of a rest, then start working hard again.

Any more examples of such cliches?

[Crabcakes]

Not just leaflets, but anyone talking about anything they have a passion about that clearly they do not have a passion about. E.g. “I’m passionate about improving the number of cycle lanes in the area”. Are you? Are you REALLY? Because sure, it’s a good thing, but bordering on obsession about something mundane just suggests you’re either psychotic, or - as is most often the case - very, very obviously lying.

[Andy McDandy]

The problem with any of these "hot" marketing wording things is that they become very stale very quickly.

Take for example "solutions". This started in the navy, specifically in launching shells and torpedoes at things. Two moving platforms, wind and weather and sea movement to take into account, it's basically a maths puzzle to sink someone else's battleship. Solutions works fine.

Then it was picked up by the IT industry. The idea being that they didn't just supply a product, but would go into your business, work with you to identify your problems, then apply their products and services to remedy them. Solutions.

Then haulage companies started saying they were "delivering logistics solutions", it got stale, and is now pretty much a joke.

As for the rest, as ever, apply the ridiculous reverse rule.

[Bones McCoy]

Titch Rishi's fave "Delivering".


Is he an understudy for Postman Pat or something?

[Abernathy]

Titch Rishi's fave "Delivering".


Is he an understudy for Postman Pat or something?

I've noticed he hasn't been banging on quite so much about his fucking plan just lately.

[Andy McDandy]

I loved how it went from "Labour have no plan", to "...no credible plan" before disappearing altogether.

[Bones McCoy]

I loved how it went from "Labour have no plan", to "...no credible plan" before disappearing altogether.

Rishi:

Labour has no plan.

Also Rishi:

Labour's plan will cost every one of you £2,000.

[Andy McDandy]

To which a few people replied "Just £2000? Where do I send my cheque?"

[Abernathy]

If you want to read more about Afsar, see this Hope not Hate report

https://hopenothate.org.uk/2020/09/16/ ... -protests/

[Youngian]

‘Hard working constituents.’ Does any MP or councillor admit to representing lazy constituents? Or working as little as possible constituents because their job is tediously shit.

[Killer Whale]

On social media, every candidate is having "great conversations" and getting a "really warm reception" on the doorsteps. Every single one. I know if you've got your canvassing intelligence right, you don't bother knocking on doors where you've got no chance, but come on...

[davidjay]

If you want to read more about Afsar, see this Hope not Hate report

https://hopenothate.org.uk/2020/09/16/ ... -protests/

Another of their lot, courtesy of the Birmingham Dispatch. George can't 'alf pick 'em.

The missing detail: Meet Akhmed Yakoob’s ‘gang leader’ business partner




The missing detail: Meet Akhmed Yakoob’s ‘gang leader’ business partner
Exclusive: The Dispatch can reveal that last year, the breakout star of Birmingham politics set up a business with a convicted criminal
THE DISPATCH
JUN 27
∙
PREVIEW






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Morning Patchers — today’s story is about Akhmed Yakoob, the independent parliamentary candidate in Ladywood whose brash style and pro-Gaza message has earnt him huge attention in recent months.

Yakoob’s short political career has featured both impressive results (coming in third place at the West Midlands mayoral election against the odds) and multiple scandals. He’s been profiled in the Sunday Times and he’s a frequent face in the Daily Mail.

But despite the considerable attention he has received, a key detail appears to have been missed in the coverage until now.

Last year, Yakoob decided to go into business with a convicted criminal: Erdington-based Amjad Waseem. They incorporated a company called AIX Investment Group Ltd, in which they are the two directors.

In 2012, Waseem was sentenced to 54 months in prison due to his role as “gang leader” in a £1.25-million supercar scam. A judge at the time said Waseem “played an integral role in the conspiracy.”

Sources close to Yakoob (the candidate refused to address the matter himself in an on-the-record statement) say that while AIX was incorporated, the deal fell through and the company is not trading. But his decision to go into business with a convicted criminal will raise serious questions about his judgment.

The Dispatch has also learnt of Yakoob’s associations with other deeply unsavoury individuals. This includes a man who was barred as a solicitor after it emerged he had a stalking conviction for an incident in which he threatened a woman over the phone and followed her in a vehicle over a two-week period. The man described Yakoob as his “big brother” in 2022.

[Youngian]

Don’t know what field this solicitor practices in but I thinks he’s what the Americans would call a strip lawyer. Better call Akhmed.
If this plonker wins he’s going to be on Question Time telling it like it is for the next five years.

[davidjay]

To avoid a lengthy quote from Abers, Yardley has a similar charmer in the very lovely Jody McIntyre, a long-time professional agitator who holds Jess Phillips personally responsible for everything from Gaza to Acocks Green library and whose leaflets are, I'd hazard a guess, interchangeable with his mates above.

[Crabcakes]

Not to dismiss the tragedy there in any way or form, but it does seem that a lot of candidates appear to think they're standing for election in Gaza.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

There's a thing you have to beware of when in schools you collect for charity - never do it for a named individual, however good the cause, because some kids will believe that when they hit the target that person will get better - which they probably won't.

Same principle seems to apply here - if I make some sort of performative stand against a random politician in the UK the Israelis will pull out of Gaza and all will be milk and honey. It's almost Cargo Cult thinking.