[Andy McDandy]

For a guy who's "never here", yet always seems to be around, he seems a mass of walking contradictions. Would someone so secretive really be happy with so many people knowing about his alleged crimes?

Then it hit me - this all seemed a little familiar. Where could I have read this before? Michael Dobbs maybe? Nope.

The Thick of It spin-off book, "The Missing DoSAC Files". Specifically the Malcolm Tucker interview (which attributes him with the "Doctor Know" nickname), but many more bits seem remarkably similar. Dorries ripping off a 10 year old comedy book (badly)? Would she be capable of that?

[Bones McCoy]

Tories acting like gangsters: Who'd've thought.

[Abernathy]

Are we supposed to read Nad's "revelations" and throw up our hands in horror? Really?

Apart from the fact that it's a load of old bollocks and the product of Dorries' over-fertile imagination/ a desperate attempt to rake in some cash from the smouldering remnants of her political career, it doesn't even begin to compare with the actual, real-life Downing Street skip fire that we are currently hearing about courtesy of the Covid-19 enquiry.

[satnav]

Dorries makes a big thing about how the cabinet office wanted to see the book before it was published but I would have thought this would be fairly standard practice for somebody who has recently left government. If the book smears senior civil servants they should have a chance to correct the record before the book is published and she might also divulge material that she is not permitted to do.

[satnav]

Quite a few people on Twitter are suggesting that Dr.No is a bloke called Dougie Smith.

Here is an article written about him in a Scottish newspaper back in January. He does seem to tick many of the boxes.

https://www.thenational.scot/news/23257 ... er-player/

[Malcolm Armsteen]

He features in Anthony Seldon and Raymond Newell's book Johnson at 10, which I have just finished.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Johnson-at-10- ... C98&sr=8-1

Mirza’s husband, the mysterious Dougie Smith, who had established himself as a fixer for the Conservative Party in the 2000s. Despite his prominence as a power-broker for over two decades, including working with party leaders, he maintained an all but invisible digital footprint.57 His exact role when entering No. 10 was so uncertain, having a desk in the Downing Street political office yet not being employed as a special adviser, that the Telegraph claimed it was ‘as though he does not exist’.

Seldon, Anthony; Newell, Raymond. Johnson at 10: The Inside Story (p. 67). Atlantic Books. Kindle Edition.

Where the principal lacks strong views, the direction at No. 10 is often influenced by the team around the Prime Minister. The two most ‘fiercely anti-woke zealots’, as they were called, were married to each other, Munira Mirza and Dougie Smith. They regularly railed against individuals and institutions perceived to be pushing a ‘woke’ agenda. The list of those to be purged was long: the BBC, the civil service (especially the Treasury), the National Trust, universities and the NHS among those whose socially conscious tendencies needed to be stamped out. Supported by several ministers, notably Dowden, Truss and Kemi Badenoch, they were convinced of a need for the party and No. 10 to be ever more vocal on the emergent cultural fissures – not least on footballers’ activism and new revisionist views of history and empire.

Seldon, Anthony; Newell, Raymond. Johnson at 10: The Inside Story (p. 351). Atlantic Books. Kindle Edition.

[satnav]

If my real name was Dougie Smith I think I'd prefer to be known as Dr.No because it sounds a lot more intimidating.

[Andy McDandy]

Ah, the sex club bloke.

[satnav]

Between being sacked from the cabinet and resigning as an MP, Nadine had about 12 months in which she could have used parliamentary privilege to raise many of the issues that she has written about in her book. But instead she spent the time writing a book to make a quick buck.

[Andy McDandy]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... ith_images

And there's more! Everyone is a shit, and they frankly deserve each other.

Ends on the note of Dougie "SAS of sex" Smith offering to finish Johnson off. The things you have to do to get ahead in the Tories....

[Abernathy]

I do not give a flying fuck whether or not there was a secret cabal dedicated to fucking over Boris Johnson - other than that if there was, they didn’t fucking get it done quickly enough.

[Youngian]

They used to be far quicker on the ball. At least Labour has only had one really shit leader in the post Major era. The Tories haven’t had one who isn’t.

She says it toppled Mr Johnson and 'brought down Iain Duncan Smith as party leader’

[satnav]

If there really was a powerful cabal in the Conservative Party that didn't like Theresa May and Boris Johnson wouldn't that cabal have made more of a effort to stop the pair of them being elected leader in the first place? May wasn't universally popular in the party so it would have been quite easy to stop her becoming leader and although Johnson was popular with the party the cabal surely had plenty of dirt to dish on him.

[Tubby Isaacs]

Don't think he was referring to your books, Nadine.

[mattomac]

I did wonder you often see 5 in any given charity shop.

[davidjay]

If there really was a powerful cabal in the Conservative Party that didn't like Theresa May and Boris Johnson wouldn't that cabal have made more of a effort to stop the pair of them being elected leader in the first place? May wasn't universally popular in the party so it would have been quite easy to stop her becoming leader and although Johnson was popular with the party the cabal surely had plenty of dirt to dish on him.

Stop bringing fact and logic into the argument.

[Tubby Isaacs]

You'll be amazed to hear there are rumours that Dorries' manuscript was an avalanche of libel suits waiting to happen.

She's not named this Dr No character, but it's apparently very easy to identify who it is. That seems like a bit odd if there are going to be major revelations- wouldn't the lawyers be much more careful about it? So far I think it's basically the story about slicing up his brother's rabbit when he was a kid. See if there's more.

As for who this is, I can tell you, channelling reddit, that it's definitely not a bloke called Dougie Smith.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

I heard that it definitely wasn't him as well...

[Youngian]

The Mail’s having a tough job thickening this thin gruel. They couldn’t even put his head on a spider at the centre of a web like Malcolm Tucker. Was he wearing the mask while being exposed at a sex party? Not that mysterious if he’s been splashed across the tabloids.

Top Tory official Dougie Smith - said to be part of 'the movement' controlling access to the Tory leadership - has finally been unmasked

In his spare time Mr Smith became a member of the so-called Aspinalls poker set and co-founded Fever Parties – an agency which organised exclusive sex parties for wealthy swingers in upmarket London locations.

He asked couples to submit photos and pay a fee of £50 to attend his events. When the 'five-star' orgies were exposed by a national newspaper he insisted that his political and private activities 'don't overlap' and hailed his clients as 'the SAS of sex'. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... rival.html

[Abernathy]

The thing is, I, like, at a guess, 99.97% of other, normal folk in the country, don’t give a badger’s fart about Boris Johnson, or whether he was brought down by a secret cabal, or Mad fucking Nad. Mostly, we’re just glad that Johnson is gone.

Other than a mild disgust that Dorries has been given the opportunity to monetise her fantasies by Dacre, if I never see or hear about Nadine Dorries ever again, it’ll be far too soon.