[satnav]

Amanda got off to a great start in today's column complaining about the fact that Bernie Ecclestone escaped with a suspended sentences for tax evasion. (I wonder what she thinks about the owners of the Mail going to great lengths to avoid paying any takes in this country)

She then returns to her usual targets. Madonna and Taylor Swift might be making over a billion pounds each on their respective world tours but apparently they are not very good at keeping a man claims longtime spinster Amanda Platell.

She also criticises Meghan Markle for driving round New York to a charity event because back here Princess Kate managed to engineer a photo-opportunity with a group of girls playing Botcha.

She also has ago at Beckham and Lineker for accepting money to work in Qatar. In comparison Rod Stewart is a saint because he has a moral compass so he turned down £1m to perform in Saudi Arabia. Is that the same Rod Stewart who spent years living as a tax exile before returning to Britain when he realised that the NHS offered good value for money to a man in his 70s.

She also has ago at Nicole Sherzinger for looking so young. Amanda is convinced that her good looks are not down to healthy living and Nivea.

I'm pretty sure all this predictable crap could easily be written by an AI bot.

[Youngian]

I'm pretty sure all this predictable crap could easily be written by an AI bot.

BBC’s Media Show interviewed various journalists including ones from a local newspaper and an IT magazine who’d been giving AI a go. They all struggled to find much use for it in the editorial department. They didn’t mention windbag right wing columns churning out predictable opinions every week. No original wit with words, fact checking or reliable research is needed to produce them.

[Andy McDandy]

She also said that Starmer should be embarrassed by having female security guards drag the glitter protestor away.

I'm really trying to find any logic in that.

[Bones McCoy]

She also said that Starmer should be embarrassed by having female security guards drag the glitter protestor away.

I'm really trying to find any logic in that.

Sorry Amands, Male guards tackling a glitter protester would be at risk of catching gayness (Obvs).

So Starmer 1 - Platell 0 in the common sense derby.

[Watchman]

I guess Amanda’s view of security is either a bald bloke in a black overcoat out side a club in Saffend, or an ex-SAS bloke on daddy’s payroll

[Andy McDandy]

I sort of get what she's trying to say, oh what a wimp, having to be rescued by a woman, but it's not as if he's made a point of how macho he is, for instance boasting about how much beer he can drink, or doing press-ups for visiting reporters. Also, he can't tell a guard to stay back and let big Dave have a go. So it seems to be that she knew she had to write something about it, but really couldn't work an angle other than what she went with.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

"Find something bad to say about Starmer and the glitter"

Well, actually there wasn't anything, so she come up with this thin gruel.

GB News woman on HIGNFY tried the same, and all she could come up with was taking off his jacket looked 'rehearsed' so it was all a false flag...

The right are not only vile and stupid they lack any creativity...

[Andy McDandy]

And if taking a jacket off didn't look rehearsed, she'd be laughing at him - "look, he can't even do basic dressing".

[Boiler]

GB News woman on HIGNFY tried the same, and all she could come up with was taking off his jacket looked 'rehearsed' so it was all a false flag...

Isn't she a 'nepo baby' ??

I've seen the pathetic "twinkle twinkle little starmer" of late.

[Andy McDandy]

That's "Gordon Brown, taxes the poor*" bad.

*To the tune of Golden Brown.

[MisterMuncher]

GB News woman on HIGNFY tried the same, and all she could come up with was taking off his jacket looked 'rehearsed' so it was all a false flag...

Isn't she a 'nepo baby' ??

I've seen the pathetic "twinkle twinkle little starmer" of late.

Daughter of the scrotal boil that is Tom Utley. I don't know how much of a factor nepotism could be, given I couldn't imagine anyone doing that bollocks a favour

[Andy McDandy]

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailym ... stine.html

Gwyneth Paltrow, Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, Coleen Rooney - you're all shit!

Meanwhile, king Charles gets mocked for saying "be nice", and a few lines later, Manda asks why can't people just be nice?

[Boiler]

Another economic migrant we could do with repatriating.

[Watchman]

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailym ... stine.html

Gwyneth Paltrow, Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, Coleen Rooney - you're all shit!

Meanwhile, king Charles gets mocked for saying "be nice", and a few lines later, Manda asks why can't people just be nice?

Is it just me, or does she have a problem with women who are more talented, better looking, than her?

[Andy McDandy]

No, not just you.

It's really easy for her - if a woman is beautiful, or trades on her image (so anyone in the media or entertainment business), they're a brain dead harlot. If they rely on skills or intelligence, they're a fusty bluestocking who'll never get a man that way.

I think the only times she professes to like other women is if a) she's making a comparison with a man she doesn't like, b) they have a horrible medical condition, or c) they're dead.

[satnav]

I can't believe she managed a full article without slagging off Meghan Markle. She must be getting a bit forgetful in her old age. If I was a Daily Mail reader I would have half a mind to demand a refund.

[Watchman]

They seem to have backed off a bit with the Megan bashing, following the demise of Whotton

[Andy McDandy]

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailym ... sible.html

In which she struggles with the concept of fiction.

[Tubby Isaacs]

Predictable here.

Vorderman (who I don't particularly rate) was asked to leave and did. She might have contested that, I reckon.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

I know who I'd rather go down the pub with.