[Crabcakes]

Johnson must be the worse advertisement for exercise ever. He always seems to be jogging or cycling. Imagine someone has just taken up jogging to lose weight and they're finding it hard, then they look at the state of him after (seemingly) years of regular exercise. The motivation would evaporate.

It’s because, like everything else, it’s a lie. He’s been caught basically going round the block and coming back, or hopping out of a car. The shambolic mismatched shorts & shirt and hat/wonky cycle helmet are as posed and deliberate as the ruffled hair.

It’s like guys in films who are interrupted shaving, wipe off the excess foam, and are miraculously clean shaven because they were never shaving in the first place. The next time he tries the jogging bullshit someone should ask how far he’s been and then point out it’s remarkable he’s never sweating afterwards. Ever.

Bonus points if they can throw in a line about him being similar to Prince Andrew!

[Oboogie]

Not just Johnson. Gove got caught during lockdown. In full jogging kit, he claimed to journalists outside his house that he'd been out for his permitted hour's exercise, unaware they'd filmed him leaving the house five minutes earlier.

[davidjay]

Surely to God Charlotte Owen isn't his progeny? He couldn't be that blatant, could he?

[Malcolm Armsteen]

She could be and he would be.

[Youngian]

I understand from the Twitter that Charlotte Owen is the daughter of Allegra Mostyn-Owen, Boris Johnson's ex-wife.
This wouldn’t take a Fleet Street hot shot reporter very long to confirm.

[Oboogie]

She even looks like him.

[Youngian]

Not as bright as Olivia Utley. She has an eye for nepotistic advancement.

[Watchman]

How’s you uncle?

[davidjay]

I understand from the Twitter that Charlotte Owen is the daughter of Allegra Mostyn-Owen, Boris Johnson's ex-wife.
This wouldn’t take a Fleet Street hot shot reporter very long to confirm.

The word 'superinjunction' comes to mind.

[Crabcakes]

Looks like The Times have had sight of the committee report. And lo and behold it forensically breaks down when Johnson lied, what about, and with evidence and testimony.

I, for one, am staggered that Boris Johnson would have lied about it. Staggered I tell you.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

It's not behind the paywall, and it is well worth a read.

The phrase 'bang to rights' comes to mind.

[Abernathy]

It IS behind the paywall, alas.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

I can read it, and I'm not a subscriber.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

Boris Johnson deliberately misled parliament over the Downing Street parties scandal, a committee of MPs will find on Wednesday after rejecting his central defence.

The former prime minister claimed that he was advised by senior officials that both Covid rules and guidance had been complied with at all times in No 10 during the pandemic.

However, the privileges committee, a parliamentary standards body that has investigated Johnson, has concluded that officials did not advise him that social-distancing guidelines had been followed, despite him repeatedly making the claim in the Commons. One of his most senior officials in fact warned him against making such a claim on the basis it was “unrealistic”...

...The committee’s report will state that Johnson would have been sanctioned with a suspension of more than ten days, enough to trigger a by-election. It is also expected to state that criticism of the committee should be considered contempt of parliament after Johnson and his allies repeatedly castigated members over the investigation...

...The Times has been told that Johnson also pressed Sunak to give his father a knighthood after he was cut from the resignation honours list. No 10 was said to be concerned that allowing Johnson to elevate his father would carry significant reputational risk...

...Martin Reynolds, Johnson’s principal private secretary at the time, advised him in December 2021 that he should remove a claim from a statement to the Commons that “all guidance had been followed at all times”. He questioned “whether it was realistic to argue that all guidance had been followed at all times”. Johnson removed the line from his opening statement but repeated the assertion during a debate in the Commons less than half an hour later...

[Malcolm Armsteen]

Cold War Steve knocks it out of the park once more...

[Bones McCoy]

Not as bright as Olivia Utley. She has an eye for nepotistic advancement.

I'd not heard of Utley (Oh lucky me).
I google led me direct to her Linkedin page.

It's the height of irony to see the granddaughter of TE Utley (Telegraph) and Tom Utley (Mail) complain about nepotism.
Her linkedin cites six different "wingnut welfare" jobs in as many years.
There's a progression from Sun to Telegraph to GB news that deserves a latter day Hogarth to illustrate.

[Abernathy]

Charlotte Owen is, apparently, the daughter of one of Johnson’s ex-wives.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

Indeed. And possibly conceived whilst they were still married.
I have seen the idea of a superinjunction mentioned...

[Abernathy]

Apparently Johnson, Dorries. and that other cunt still haven’t actually resigned formally as MPs.

[Bones McCoy]

More procedural bullshit beloved of our "constitutional experts".

Special swords, wearing your ermine inside out, Princess Anne's hat; but half a million reliant on foodbanks.
600 cavalry horses stabled in central London; but can't armour a patrol land rover.

Overpaid wankers who read a ladybird book on heraldry, but know nothing of governing a modern country.