[Youngian]

Meanwhile the Republicans declare war on dog shite. Quite right, a change in behaviour is needed and they’re just the people to apply persuasion.

A Newry road “must be the worst street in Ireland” for dog dirt, a councillor in the area has claimed.

The elected rep hit out as Newry, Mourne and Down District Council’s neighbourhood committee was given an update this week on an enforcement improvement plan.

A Facebook littering campaign by the local authority finished this week, reaching 26.3k people and with 318 engagements.

But councillors say a lack of witness statements regarding dog mess and illegal dumping across the district has the culprits “laughing” at the authorities.

However, the council has stated that new court powers of prosecution together with a reporting app will now act as a strong deterrent.

Newry councillor, Charlie Casey from Sinn Fein has branded the canine poo problem in his constituency as a national disgrace. https://m.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/n ... &fs=e&s=cl

[Spoonman]

To be fair, anyone who allows their dog to do a number two in a public area and not clean up the mess straight away deserves a punt in the cunt/balls (delete as appropriate).

[Youngian]

Tim Martin banned dogs from Wetherspoons for the understandable reason that staff were fed up with clearing up dog shit in the gardens. What a classy clientele.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

Are you sure it was dog shit?

[Spoonman]

Lawd Frost/ERG loons/Hoey/Habib/Bwryson/every DUP & TUV talking head: "The protocol is doing irreparable damage to the Northern Irish economy!!!!111one"

Reality: "NI's doing okay, thanks!"

Economy: Northern Ireland output 'now at 15-year high'

The Northern Ireland economy continued to grow in the first quarter of 2022, official figures from Nisra suggest.

Output was up by 0.4% compared to the final quarter of 2021 and by 7.8% compared to the same period a year ago.

NI economic output is now at a 15-year high and just 0.1% below the record output level recorded in the middle of 2007.

From late 2007, Northern Ireland experienced a housing crash which caused significant economic damage.

Northern Ireland's performance in the first quarter was weaker than the UK average: UK GDP grew by 0.8% quarter-on-quarter and by 8.7% year-on-year.

However, the NI Statistics and Research Agency (Nisra) says that over a three-year time period Northern Ireland has grown more strongly with output up by 4.8% compared to UK GDP growth of 1.3%.

Nisra uses the three-year comparison in an attempt to mitigate the economic volatility arising from the pandemic.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-62078425

[Youngian]

Andrew Bridgen kite flew his latest genius idea, yesterday: Start fracking for gas and withhold exports to Europe as leverage on the NI protocol negotiations. He was doing so well not gushing for Bozo, I almost forgot he’s Gazza level daft as a brush.

[Andy McDandy]

Bridgen, the guy who John Merrick looked upon and said "shit, dude, what happened?".

[Spoonman]

A general/provisional release of the 2021 Census figures by the NISRA is being made tomorrow morning. They'll be some noise made if certain demographics in the data either tip the scales or at least balance them when it comes to "Ussuns" vs "Themmuns".

[Spoonman]

So for the first time since its founding, the 2021 Census reports that more people in NI come from a "Catholic" background than a "Protestant" one...

Census 2021: More from Catholic background in NI than Protestant

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-62980394

Other headlines...

Sky News : "Catholics outnumber Protestants in Northern Ireland for first time since its creation"

ITV News : "Catholics outnumber Protestants for first time in Northern Ireland, Census reveals"

The Times : "More Catholics than Protestants in Northern Ireland, census shows"

James O'brien (LBC) : "This, to me, feels like it could be the beginning of the end of the United Kingdom.' James O'Brien explains why Catholics outnumbering Protestants in Northern Ireland for the first time is of 'huge importance'."

Daily Mail : "Historic shift for Northern Ireland as census shows Catholics outnumber Protestants for the first time since partition of the island. Is Megan Markle to blame?

[Bones McCoy]

Do the folks who live there understand that 95% of the developed world will read thins and think "This is not normal".

See also American news reporting on white and black neighbourhoods.

[Andy McDandy]

I've read interviews with actresses of Asian descent saying that they grow sick of the forbidden love/arranged marriage plotlines and scripts they regularly get bombarded with.

I suspect it's a similar thing with Northern Ireland - everything has to be seen through a certain prism.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

Narrativium.

The most common element on the disc*, although not included in the list of the standard five: earth, fire, air, water and surprise. It ensures that everything runs properly as a story. For example, if a boy has two older brothers, chances are they will go on a quest. The first will be strong, and fail because of his stupidity, the second will be smart, and fail because of his frailty and the youngest brother will then have no choice but to go out, succeed and bring fame and fortune to his poor family. This phenomenon is also known as Narrative Causality. Dragons breathe fire not because they have asbestos lungs, but because that is what dragons do. Heroes only win when outnumbered, and things which have a one-in-a-million chance of succeeding often do so.

*And by the Power of Parody the Roundworld as well.

[MisterMuncher]

My current favourite bit of Unionist rationalisation of all this is that the increase in Catholics is because of immigration, and they're not real Fenians, so they're not, and everything is fine.

It would definitely work out better if loyalists hadn't been burning and threatening immigrants out of "their" area for the last 20-odd years.

[Spoonman]

Utter cunts.

Omagh: Off-duty police officer shot at sports centre

An off-duty police officer has been shot at a sports complex in Omagh, County Tyrone.

There are unconfirmed reports that he was hit multiple times on the Killyclogher Road at about 20:00 GMT.

The victim is currently being treated at Altnagelvin Area Hospital in Londonderry. His condition is unknown.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-64736670

[Spoonman]

Just to add my own two pennies to the above this morning - I haven't graced the Youth Sport Omagh complex in a good few years, but it's a popular hub for a lot of local sporting activity especially for soccer/football, GAA games, athletics etc. particularly at this time of the year. The fact that the victim (named as PSNI Detective Chief Inspector John Caldwell) had just finished coaching a boys soccer team for the evening meant that the shooting likely happened with many of those boys just metres away makes me sick. Officially there's no description on whom was responsible but the likelihood is that it was dissident republicans. But whoever it was, they're scum.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

PSNI state they have arrested three suspects.

[Youngian]

Did Sir Jeff takes this story in good humour?

[MisterMuncher]

He can't. Donaldson is just about devoid of any kind of humour or cheer. Even among his usual associates like Gregory Campbell or Edwin Poots, he's a relentlessly dour, dull, prickly little wanker.

It's never occurred to him that outside of the usual sectarian divide, Michelle O'Neill probably can attract votes because she's capable of acting like a human being.

[davidjay]

He can't. Donaldson is just about devoid of any kind of humour or cheer. Even among his usual associates like Gregory Campbell or Edwin Poots, he's a relentlessly dour, dull, prickly little wanker.

It's never occurred to him that outside of the usual sectarian divide, Michelle O'Neill probably can attract votes because she's capable of acting like a human being.

Not even Corbyn can hold a candle to the DUP when it comes to blundering into traps laid by cleverer opponents.

[MisterMuncher]

They've the same persecution complex about the consequences of their idiocy as well.