[Watchman]

And big brave Mozzer having his hissy fit in Vegas, wonder what the audience demographic looked like

[Andy McDandy]

Reported by Forehead O'Neill.

When Morrissey first performed the song, in Las Vegas, he told a shocked audience that the arena bombing was 'Britain's 9/11'.

............................

At the Palladium, O'Neill reports, audience members were stunned and some looked a little ashamed.

Stunned and ashamed how? In the "shit, did I really shell out for this?" sense? The "well, there goes another childhood idol" sense?

[Youngian]

Officials say there is a very real risk of a rabies outbreak caused by dogs from Serbia being smuggled in on fake pet passports. How long before word spreads around the world and we are confronted by boatloads of Afghan Hounds, Rhodesian Ridgebacks and Tibetan Shih Tzus claiming asylum? Maybe we should send some Border Collies to Dover to round 'em up and send them to Rwanda.

What officials? Real pet passports aren’t valid in the UK and Serbia is rabies free. You still need rabies vaccinations to travel through Europe and the info is on a microchip. A lot of effort needed for faking it.

[Andy McDandy]

It's newspaperese. Officials means anyone, if they actually exist all the better. It just slaps a bit of authority and legitimacy on things, and gives the columnist some "just saying what other people are saying" elbow room.

[Watchman]

I thought we were now free to make our own laws in respect of mad dogs

[Andy McDandy]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/arti ... eople.html

One big long whinge. Opposition doing their jobs, media holding the government to account, politicians not catering solely for fat bastards who hate everyone, we're all going to hell in a handcart. Meanwhile boo for protecting wildlife, boo for giving a shit, and boo to the woman who a few weeks ago was being touted as the new messiah.

Headless Jeremy takes 100 in pursuit (4).

[soulboy]

The man who wrote an article on Kate Pong's quintuplets ("no mention of a Mr. Pong...") comments on the journalistic rigour of others.

It was a cheap jibe designed to produce a soundbite which could be repeated on the hour, every hour. What it wasn't was proper journalism.

[Andy McDandy]

Not to mention his tales of the golden age of journalism, which seemed to largely consist of him and his mate Kelvin getting drunk with dodgy geezers and bent plod, while making up bollocks.

[Andy McDandy]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/arti ... iries.html

While he's got a point on Headspace, this is the usual "back in my day" tosh. Get back in the office, work yourselves to death, bunch of lazy buggers anyway, who gives a shit about the environment, all the greens are weird, you wouldn't get away with that in bongo bongo land.

Also, a look at the report into the Manchester bombing, which gives him a chance to rehash his favourite H&S gornmaaad stories and his newfound love for Morrissey.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/arti ... cking.html

[soulboy]

Civil servants - "It's not as if they're exactly rushed off their feet."

Really? After twelve years of austerity cuts and a further 20% headcount reduction across the board post-Covid?

In many departments there was only one show in town for two years. All the work that was dropped due to Covid is still there and slimmed down teams are battling the backlog.

On top of that, in his own weasel words, they are

dealing with a war in Europe, or helping to stem the flow of foreign migrants heading our way illegally, or stopping the economy disappearing down the gurgler

He makes a good case for people needing help with their mental health.

Bye National Trust. It's a hole. (4)

[Andy McDandy]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/arti ... -hope.html

Ron DeSantis puff piece. What does Rupert Murdoch think?

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/arti ... -gone.html

"Back in 1995 the Tories were crap. They still are. It's everyone else's fault."

Copper books unpleasant character (4)

[Andy McDandy]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/arti ... n-war.html

Two shit parodies for the price of one. Sweeney or Fawlty Towers, take your pick, they're both crap.

No attempt to actually copy the programme's style, just a load of plot references and his standard ranting. But he knows that, and so do we.

Count lost nothing, we hear. The git! (4)

[Amazonian]

Barcelona. He went home after Brexit. Can't get staff for love nor money these days, not now everyone thinks they're entitled to work from home and all the Europeans have buggered off.

Littledong presumably thinks that cognitive dissonance is some poofy French plonk that it'd never'ave in ver sideboard 'ere on Vero Beach.

[Andy McDandy]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/arti ... -raid.html

The Mail is not happy with the budget. Dickie almost reaches the point of blaming the Tories for some of this mess, but not to fear! It's all the fault of everyone else, as ever.

[Andy McDandy]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/arti ... lling.html

Money talks. The world cup might be a mess, but money wins out over shows of protest. It's all shit, but their shit wins out. If we had any guts, we'd boycott it, and then he'd complain about gesture politics all the same. Meanwhile aren't local news columnists rubbish? Except one, who I can't remember the name of. Anyway, they're from Cornwall and fuck 'em because we've got money and they need it. Finally some bollocks about a panto, and words of wisdom from Maureen fucking Lipman.

Nobleman rejects love, fuck that! (4)

[Amazonian]

Do they approve, for instance, like Stonewall, of women's safe spaces, such as changing rooms and female-only toilets, being open to biological males? Do they really back BLM's Marxist-inspired agenda, including defunding the police and smashing capitalism?

Well, there's nothing like an informed, intelligent appraisal, and that's nothing like an informed, intelligent appraisal. Fuck you with a rusty chainsaw, Dickie.

[Amazonian]

Apologies for the double post, but I also love how Littledick makes safe spaces A Good Thing when they suit its agenda, but A Rubbish Thing whenever there are 'snowflakes' to be dissed. Double standards much, ya fuckin' hypocrite?

[Andy McDandy]

Hierarchy of hate, innit?

See also, "Muslims keep their women wrapped up and deny them rights" vs "No daughter of mine is going out dressed like that", "Phwoar, you can almost see everything", and "What did she expect, going out dressed like that?".

[Andy McDandy]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/arti ... -1973.html

Ecodoom again, or more precisely energydoom. Ladies and gentlemen, the guilty:

Labour, Scargill, Ted Heath, the Saudis, Labour again, Cameron, Clegg, Foggy, Compo, Truss, Carrie Symonds, Grant Shapps, Putin, Gove, Zac Goldsmith, rich people, the advertising industry, big tech, the caahncil, the BBC, Swampy and probably many more.

His solution? Big manly energy like nuclear and fracking and oil. Drilling. Lots of big oily men, drilling.

Comments are batshit - poorly hidden racism, replacement theory, binmenism, and Thatcher-felching.

[Yug]

Comments are batshit - poorly hidden racism, replacement theory, binmenism, and Thatcher-felching.

Or, to put it another way, just another normal day on Daily Mail Island.