[RedSparrows]

Holy shit a politician doing politics? Holy shit.

Fucking weak sauce, my god.

[Tubby Isaacs]

Doesn't "playing politics" better refer to eg talking like murders wouldn't happen if you were the Mayor of London?

Rather than, you know, a politician making a joke?

[The Red Arrow]

Johnson flat row: Tory staff ‘told to hand over information in one week’

Officials reportedly told they could face criminal charges if they do not give inquiry any materials they have

“You are put on notice that this is a criminal investigation,” the email said. It warned that staff who “knowingly falsify, conceal, destroy or otherwise dispose of information” … “could be committing a criminal offence of perverting the course of justice”.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/20 ... nformation

[The Red Arrow]

That's the Murdoch Times, groovers.

For the nanny, not the few.

[Samanfur]

But remember, proles: don't have children if you can't afford to pay for them.

[The Red Arrow]

I'm wondering if the sunday scandal sheets have each been fed a scandal of their own to run with.

[Youngian]

Putin bankrolling the nanny via a Russian Tory donor would be the cream on that shit cake. Not that the Kremlin would wish to damage Johnson’s premiership.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake?

[davidjay]

I think it was Tom Bowler who said that Conrad Black's downfall was caused by him rubbing shoulders with billionaires and spending accordingly when he was 'only' worth a couple of hundred million. Similar might do for Johnson.

[The Red Arrow]

Fuck. Right. Off.

"Royal Yacht" hashtag thingy

[Samanfur]

I see that my MP's been speaking to the Telegraph about what a great idea this is, as usual.

He wants it built on Merseyside. So that's alright, then.

[Andy McDandy]

I'd actually have a tiny amount to admiration for them if they just said that they wanted a floating gin palace to cruise around on and get hammered at taxpayers' expense.

[Samanfur]

I found Jake Berry's actual quotes, after a bit of digging. This is genuinely not parody:

Exclusive: Britannia to rule the waves once more, with new royal yacht named after Prince Philip

Jake Berry, chairman of the Northern Research Group of Conservatiave MPs, last night called for the new ship to be built by Cammell Laird on Merseyside, where the polar research ship RRS Sir David Attenborough was constructed.

Mr Berry said: “This successor to Britannia enables Britain to take her proper place in the world once again. When I and The Telegraph newspaper launched our campaign back in 2016, we were told that this day would never come.

“I am delighted that Boris has been brave enough to discount the doubters and bean counters who did not have the vision to see what this new ship can add to global Britain. Commemorating the Duke of Edinburgh in this way is respectful and deeply appropriate.”

My opinions on being represented by this plonker are well known around here, but I'd just like to reiterate my embarrassment.

[Bones McCoy]

Fuck. Right. Off.

"Royal Yacht" hashtag thingy

File that alongside such British engineering triumphs as the Garden Bridge and the Isle of Man tunnel roundabout.

[Andy McDandy]

I'm sure they've announced a new royal yacht about as many times as Maureen Lipman's quit the Labour party.

It's a bit like Jonathan Ross interviewing Ricky Gervais. You know that there's nobody else available or nothing else you want to report on.

[Crabcakes]

Like everything else he touches, Johnson has taken his absolute free gift of a poll bounce thanks to the NHS vaccination effort and blown it completely as a result of greed, incompetence, lying and arrogance.

[kreuzberger]

...where the polar research ship RRS Sir David Attenborough was constructed.

Philly McPhil-Pockets?

[kreuzberger]

Keith, it's spelled Keith. It's neither Starmer's name nor a particularly cutting display of wit.

[Crabcakes]

One could equally say that Kieth was handed a gift in the form of Johnson talking about "bodies piling high", on a background of rank corruption, and somehow turned the conversation to the quality of upholstery in John Lewis.

You could, but it’d be disingenuous because at the last PMQs he trapped Johnson into saying on Parliamentary record that he did not say it when multiple witnesses say he did (and this is almost certainly going to come back to haunt him - plus as the polls show people believe he did), and the John Lewis thing is working well in framing Johnson and his fiancé as so elitist they think furniture from what most of the U.K. thinks is a posh shop is beneath them, and so greedy they won’t pay their own money to replace it or admit who did.

Politics doesn’t have to be a single line of attack. He hates being mocked and hates scrutiny, plus what one audience will ignore, another will be infuriated by.

[Andy McDandy]

Also, if he plays the bodies line, he can be accused of weaponising death. Bad taste. There still is a taboo around death, especially among the older generations.