Mailwatch(ed) Forum

The Tory Crime Syndicate, led by Boris ‘Bullshit’ Johnson, is said to be planning a bank job next.

After a series of crimes relating to their positions in government – illegally proroguing parliament, PPE corruption, and breaking various lockdown laws – the Syndicate is planning a bigger, more audacious job, robbing a bank.

“It’s becoming increasingly clear that if you’re part of this Tory government, you’re free to break the law with impunity,” said a Tory party aide, as he ate a Twix he’d shoplifted from the Sainsbury Local.

“So, I guess we’re just going to take advantage of that and knock off a bank. Should be a decent tickle.”

The Met Police are said to be aware of the plans, but as no black men will be involved in the potential crime, then it’s not really something they’re interested in.

The Conservative Party is becoming more an “English nationalist party” that does not understand what is happening in the devolved nations, a Northern Irish MP has said.

In an interview with GB News to be broadcast on Thursday, DUP MP Ian Paisley Jr said although it was said his natural allies in Westminster should be the Tories, he found Labour gave Northern Ireland a “far better deal”.

Speaking to Gloria De Piero, Mr Paisley said: “Yes, the Conservatives call themselves the Conservative and Unionist Party, but I believe that the Conservative Party today is becoming more and more an English nationalist party that doesn’t really understand what’s going on in Scotland, certainly in Northern Ireland, and in other regions.

“And we’ve got to, and I’ve got to, try and encourage them and educate them and help them to understand.”

Asked if he trusted Mr Johnson to resolve the Northern Ireland Protocol wrangling, he said: “I don’t trust anyone in politics, I’ve become really sceptical, and I think that it’s foolish to put your trust in people.

“We can only trust the people, that they will hopefully elect sensible people, and then that we can trust those people to respond positively to the messages and the political policies that we have.

Oblomov wrote: ↑Fri Apr 01, 2022 10:41 am

Rory has been brought back into the fold.

Oboogie wrote: ↑Fri Apr 01, 2022 10:55 am

Oblomov wrote: ↑Fri Apr 01, 2022 10:41 am

Rory has been brought back into the fold.

erm, check the date.

Oblomov wrote: ↑Fri Apr 01, 2022 11:14 am I've been a victim of a Russian disinformation campaign!

Watchman wrote: ↑Fri Apr 01, 2022 8:05 am https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/202 ... SApp_Other

And when Brenda and family are not using it, maybe Bozo de Piffle can don his captain’s outfit and take us out fora cruise