:sunglasses: 27.6 % :pray: 13.8 % :laughing: 34.5 % 🧥 1.7 % :cry: 13.8 % :🤗 6.9 % :poo: 1.7 %
User avatar
By Spoonman
#22999
Satirical, just because it's a good idea to note it as such these days...

Tory Crime Syndicate planning bank job next

The Tory Crime Syndicate, led by Boris ‘Bullshit’ Johnson, is said to be planning a bank job next.

After a series of crimes relating to their positions in government – illegally proroguing parliament, PPE corruption, and breaking various lockdown laws – the Syndicate is planning a bigger, more audacious job, robbing a bank.

“It’s becoming increasingly clear that if you’re part of this Tory government, you’re free to break the law with impunity,” said a Tory party aide, as he ate a Twix he’d shoplifted from the Sainsbury Local.

“So, I guess we’re just going to take advantage of that and knock off a bank. Should be a decent tickle.”
The Met Police are said to be aware of the plans, but as no black men will be involved in the potential crime, then it’s not really something they’re interested in.
https://newsthump.com/2022/03/30/tory-c ... -job-next/
Oboogie, Boiler liked this
User avatar
By Spoonman
#23088
Maybe the MP for Sri Lanka is a bit slow in seeing the penny drop...

Tories becoming an English nationalist party, says DUP MP

The Conservative Party is becoming more an “English nationalist party” that does not understand what is happening in the devolved nations, a Northern Irish MP has said.

In an interview with GB News to be broadcast on Thursday, DUP MP Ian Paisley Jr said although it was said his natural allies in Westminster should be the Tories, he found Labour gave Northern Ireland a “far better deal”.

Speaking to Gloria De Piero, Mr Paisley said: “Yes, the Conservatives call themselves the Conservative and Unionist Party, but I believe that the Conservative Party today is becoming more and more an English nationalist party that doesn’t really understand what’s going on in Scotland, certainly in Northern Ireland, and in other regions.

“And we’ve got to, and I’ve got to, try and encourage them and educate them and help them to understand.”
..but bye fuck he either has an astonishing lack of self awareness or he's just as brazen as Alex B deP Johnson himself. :roll:

Asked if he trusted Mr Johnson to resolve the Northern Ireland Protocol wrangling, he said: “I don’t trust anyone in politics, I’ve become really sceptical, and I think that it’s foolish to put your trust in people.

“We can only trust the people, that they will hopefully elect sensible people, and then that we can trust those people to respond positively to the messages and the political policies that we have.
https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/poli ... 41060.html
By MisterMuncher
#23148
Wonder how that trust in the people will work out when he's talking to First Minister O'Neill in a few weeks
User avatar
By Watchman
#23154
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/202 ... SApp_Other

And when Brenda and family are not using it, maybe Bozo de Piffle can don his captain’s outfit and take us out fora cruise
User avatar
By Nigredo
#23165
Oboogie wrote: Fri Apr 01, 2022 10:55 am
Oblomov wrote: Fri Apr 01, 2022 10:41 am


Rory has been brought back into the fold.
erm, check the date.
I've been a victim of a Russian disinformation campaign!
Arrowhead, Oboogie, Spoonman and 1 others liked this
User avatar
By Watchman
#23194
They’ve started handing out the FPN’s to Clowning Street partygoers, £50, I thought the min (what the public have had to pay) was £200
User avatar
By Malcolm Armsteen
#23252
Oh dear. Another Tory found assaulting women and a marked tendency towards the Columbian Marching Powder...

Oh, and a dodgy Russian 'donation'.

"Nothing to see here" (J R-M)




The thread is hair-raising.
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