[kreuzberger]

His Instagram handle at the foot of the letterhead. You can guess how he dances at weddings.

[Crabcakes]

Another one not willing to face the consequences of their actions at the ballot box.

In his case, I suspect it would be particularly brutal and very, very much deserved.

Hopefully this is a precursor to irrelevance and obscurity, though clearly his ego suggests he’ll be continuing his bizarre effort to rehabilitate himself by behaving like a weird amalgam of Alan Partridge and Adrian Mole.

[Youngian]

Its a tougher media market out there compared to when Neil and Christine Hamilton were pan-handling on every gig going. What’s Hancock got to offer to make a booker’s speed dial? He may have had his last pay dirt.

[satnav]

Give him a few months and he will be getting consultancy work at a company specialising in private health care.

[Dalem Lake]

Perhaps he'll do a Cameron and write his memoirs in an expensive shed

[Samanfur]

Give him a few months and he will be getting consultancy work at a company specialising in private health care.

Or doing eye-wateringly expensive promos for the Jockey Club.

[Tubby Isaacs]

Its a tougher media market out there compared to when Neil and Christine Hamilton were pan-handling on every gig going. What’s Hancock got to offer to make a booker’s speed dial? He may have had his last pay dirt.

Yeah, I think he might have some problems, especially if the Tories lose power. What’s his contacts book worth?

He has a 23,000 majority (with Labour second, so perhaps harder to get disgruntled Tories to switch). Looks like he chucked away a long career in Parliament.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

Looks like he chucked away a long career in Parliament.

Suits me.

[Youngian]

Newmarket isn’t a big town but has two Islamic centres which might make it the highest per capita rate of Muslim places of worship in Britain. No one batters an eye lid because Tory voters are only racist when they can kick down. But love rich people with horses.

[Abernathy]

No one batters an eye lid

Egg-corns and malapropisms thread, please.

[Andy McDandy]

Insert joke about dodgy fast food places here.

[zuriblue]

No one batters an eye lid

Egg-corns and malapropisms thread, please.

Yes, I saw that and thought Oh Cod that's a bit fishy.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

I just thought that battering his eyelids (and the rest of his smug face) was a great idea.

[Crabcakes]

Perhaps he'll do a Cameron and write his memoirs in an expensive shed

If reviews of his book are anything to go by, he’s not going to be getting any deals to write another one…

[kreuzberger]

The point with Hancock is that he lacks anything approaching charisma. Cameron was weak, (and don't we know it) and Johnson, it could be argued, that is the only thing he has.

Hancock, on the other hand, is renown for failing to set an alarm clock.

Imagine; being so inconsequential for that rather than for eating marsupial genitals. That is why, whenever he enters a room, one gets the impression that someone has stumbled in to their weak excuses and left.

Metaphorically and otherwise, he is on hos tod on the night bus home to Muswell Hill.

[Abernathy]

He clearly sees his post-political career path as being the Neil & Christine Hamilton/Anne Widdecombe/Edwina Currie route of cuddly celeb appearances on shite TV game shows.He must think being on Get Me Out of Here has given him the forgiveness he said he craved, the sad bastard. I dare say the 400 grand helped, mind.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

"Matt Hancock is a shitty tipper. He left his server a £5 tip on a £300 bill in a swanky London hotel bar. In addition, the staff had to watch him groping his girlfriend all evening."

[Tubby Isaacs]

Incredible.

[Youngian]

Meanwhile on Netflix is a Hancock even more ridiculous than Matt. Graham Hancock writes Erich Von Daniken type hooey about the existence of a race of technologically advanced giants on Atlantis who escaped its apocalypse and taught the savages of the world how to build pyramids (the Altantans were of course white). This is now a four part Netflix doc (his son is a commissioning editor) in which Hancock explains his theories are suppressed by ‘mainstream archaeologists’ fearing his paradigm shift.
He has a growing following among the usual suspects who implore us sheeples to do some research and open our eyes. My research discovered a grifting hack whose ‘theories’ sprung from a Donovan song.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

It seems that Handcock has been assaulted by a 61-year old bloke, who sadly, instead of being given a medal and £200 from the Community Chest is being prosecuted for assault.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-64404426

Mind, the assault seems to have been largely verbal - so why he was arrested I don't know if 30p Lee can thump protestors and get away with it...

A man has been arrested for allegedly assaulting former health secretary Matt Hancock on the London underground.
British Transport Police arrested a 61-year-old man on suspicion of common assault and a public order offence on Tuesday.
Footage posted online shows a man shouting and following Mr Hancock through Westminster Underground station and onto a train.
A spokesperson for Mr Hancock said the incident was an "unpleasant encounter".

I would state that any interaction with Handcock is an 'unpleasant encounter'.

BTW those speech marks are the BBC's...