Mailwatch(ed) Forum

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/columnists/ ... shire.html

Main article is about those brave Afghan people we rescued out of the goodness of our hearts, and how dare they throw that back in our faces by having opinions or just, y'know, being there all the time.

Followed up by a series of not even items really, just one-liners about how X is fat or something.

What exactly are her qualifications again? Because I suspect that under an Australian style points based immigration system, she's not scoring very well.

Ye gods, she's vile. Viler than Vine.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/arti ... lling.html

Where to start? Just pointless childish whining.

we desperately want the full pageantry, flummery and a celebration of 1,000 years of tradition

The royal we?
You don’t have to be a lefty historian to demolish this myth of centuries uninterrupted ceremony. Coronations have been dismal unpopular affairs at various periods in history. The present flummery is very modern and more about competing with musical halls for spectacle than the Norman conquest. Platell would consider such findings as propagandist attacks on the monarchy for reasons too stupid to care about.

Yeah. I'd go for a William of Normandy style of coronation. IIRC he walked into Westminster Abbey, picked up the crown and stuck it on his own head. Took five minutes and cost the country nothing. A bit cheaper than Tampon Charlie's cut-price affair we've all got to pay for.

Andy McDandy wrote: ↑Sun Apr 30, 2023 7:18 am https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/arti ... lling.html

Where to start? Just pointless childish whining.

Polite: D- The student needs to provide evidence between assertion and conclusion.

Impolite: Jeysus! You won't believe the nutter sat next to me on the bus this morning.

I noticed this little gem in her column.

While a miserable Harry is back in court whining about historic media grievances, a smiling William is abseiling down a mountain with beaming Kate beside him as they support a Welsh volunteer-run rescue team and feed them pizzas. As Meghan might ask, which couple is thriving, not just surviving, now?

Harry's grievances are very valid and the only reason they have taken time to come to court is because the rest of the royals were unwilling to challenge the tabloids. As for Kate and William being photographed laughing and smiling, so many of their photo-shoots are clearly staged to give the impression that they are both happy. Would a couple that really are happy in each others company spend so much time creating these photo-shoots?

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailym ... today.html

How the fuck does she get dressed in the morning?

OK, Phil the Greek wasn't king because Kings outrank queens. Silly, but that's royalty for you.

How is the AB of C asking people to swear allegiance to the king "woke"?

As for the rest, lots of anecdotes that apparently prove points. And more Sue Grey bullshit.

I think Platell lets the cat out of the bag with this quote.

The result of the Privileges Committee investigation into Partygate — which could decide Boris’s future — is due in May. It should be cancelled immediately as this Labour stitch-up stinks. The only investigation we need now is into Gray’s links with Labour.

So she thinks that rubbishing Sue Gray some how clears Johnson does she? As many people have pointed out Johnson was actually given an easy ride by Sue Gray. If she had published her full report along with all the photographic evidence Johnson would have been totally sunk. Platell conveniently forgets that the Met police found Johnson guilty of breaching lockdown rules and the Privilege committee has carried out its own inquiry to gather evidence and allowed Johnson to respond to its findings.

Platell also drops in this little gem.

Labour should contain their jubilation over local election wins. William Hague won a huge number of seats in the locals before the 2001 general election — when the Tories were trounced by a second Blair landslide.

Amanda forgets to mention that she was Hague's chief advisers when he was trounced in the 2001 election. She was the adviser who thought that it would be a good idea for Hague to be filmed at a theme park wearing a baseball cap and for Hague to brag to the press about how he used to get pissed a lot as a teenager.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailym ... break.html

See them, on the telly? They've got all sorts of people gossiping about them. Best leave it to people like me. Meanwhile, here's a sleb being pretty. Here's a fairly well-known fact about another sleb, presented as some amazing revelation. Here's another sleb being boring. Here's me shrieking to the gallery while desperately trying to fill this page.

Whilst trying desperately to control her irony-o-meter, when she collects her pay cheque

After 40 years working in the media Platell has finally worked out that presenters are not the same on screen as they are when they are not on TV.

I thought this bit was utter tripe.

[Bad timing for workshy, snowflake Home Office civil servants threatening strike action to topple the government's Rwanda deal because it hurts their feelings.

In the week they issued their threat, experts warned AI robots could take over even medium-skilled jobs — like processing a single illegal immigrant in less than 18 months. And robots wouldn't be WFH./quote]


So on one hand she seems to be arguing that civil servants are supportive of asylum seekers yet on the other hand they are dragging their feet when it comes to processing asylum applications. Surely if civil servants were pro-immigration they would be working day and night to get applications processed. The reality is that the government has deliberately slowed down the asylum applications process in order to appear like they are being tough on asylum seekers.

I've relocated several datacentres, but I've never seen a computer commuting.

She'd better be careful about what she's wishing for, as I'm certain that AI could write her columns more quickly and cheaply, and less batshit insane, than she can.

Yug wrote: ↑Sun Jun 04, 2023 4:32 pm She'd better be careful about what she's wishing for, as I'm certain that AI could write her columns more quickly and cheaply, and less batshit insane, than she can.

I'd give an Etch-a-sketch better than evens to produce Mandy-level bollocks

Like all tabloid hacks, the only thing she knows about is how to be a tabloid hack. Hasn't got a clue about working in the civil service or anything else. A grade A cunt.

See [sleb]? They're fat and I hate them.

See [sleb]? Who are they trying to impress? Not me!

See that Labour thing? Isn't it crap?

I know all about politics because I worked, badly, for William Hague over 20 years ago.

Have you heard my new cutting edge withering put-down? I tell people they're fat and stupid and I hate them. Dorothy Parker ain't got shit on me.

See that Meghan Markle? She's a cunt.

I'll have to pad it out a bit, but I'm basically there.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailym ... e-now.html

See that Meghan, she's a cow. See that Liz Hurley, doing her acting, and her son doing his directing, don't know how they do it. See that Glenda Jackson, she was a bitch. See that Boris, he's great. See that Archbishop with his piety, he should shut up.

Cunt.

Andy McDandy wrote: ↑Sat Jun 17, 2023 12:29 pm https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailym ... e-now.html

See that Meghan, she's a cow. See that Liz Hurley, doing her acting, and her son doing his directing, don't know how they do it. See that Glenda Jackson, she was a bitch. See that Boris, he's great. See that Archbishop with his piety, he should shut up.

Cunt.

She is Glenda Slagg* and I claim my five pounds.

* A parody of the worst newspaper columnists - published in Private Eye.