[Youngian]

WFH bad news for lecherous editors. Bridget Jones didn't meet Mr Darcy in the workplace where she faced sexual harassment.

[mattomac]

Well he would know about relationships at work.

[Bones McCoy]

He thinks he's Mister Darcy doesn't he.

Just like Liz Truss still thinks she's PM.
And Theresa May still thinks that Politics gain was the Bolshoi Ballet's loss.

I put that headline through an A.I. Boriseze translator, which yielded:

They'll miss the opportunity to fellate a potential employer on a sofa at the Foreign Office.

[Dalem Lake]

How much did the Mail pay him for this tripe again? Was it half a million quid? Nice work if you can get it.

[Andy McDandy]

It's not just trying it on with the secretary. It's more of the "please get back to the office because we need the rent". It's whinging about falling birth rates in a faintly creepy way. It's something about house prices, which he had nothing whatsoever to do with, and was just about to sort out when the rotten lefties in his own party forced him out.

When Bridget Jones first fell in love with Mr Darcy, house prices were about four or five times average earnings. They are now double that – and in London they are about 14 times average ­earnings. No wonder people are having children later and later, and no wonder there has been such a fall in reproduction.

In 2022 this country saw a 3.1 per cent fall in the birth rate – and the number of live births in Britain was down to 605,479 – the smallest number, as a proportion of the overall population total, since records began in the 1930s.

No wonder, given the difficulties and expense, that the younger generation seem so apathetic about the notion of having a ­family. A recent poll of millennials found 38 per cent of them think having children is too expensive, and 31 per cent are just not interested.

As a tail-end baby-boomer, my heart bleeds for these young ­people. We should be doing everything in our power to help them. We should, above all, fix this country’s housing market. It was a tragedy that we Conservatives watered down our ­excellent Planning Bill (after I had gone) in terror of the elderly Lib Dem-leaning Nimbies.

Fuck your ideas, fuck your attempts to rewrite history, fuck your washing your hands of any blame, fuck your fucking anecdotes of sitting lapping up Bill Deedes' fucking tales of the golden fucking age of fucking Fleet Street, fuck your faux-chummy school magazine writing style, and fuck your fucking useless tossbag fucking freeloading family and faintly creepy fascist fucking wife. But most of all, go fuck yourself.

[Youngian]

Children aren't expensive if you trade their mother in for a younger model and don't stick around to bring them up. Does Bozo wonder why so many young people now view family life as a ghastly experience they don't wish to replicate?

[Watchman]

No wonder, given the difficulties and expense, that the younger generation seem so apathetic about the notion of having a ­family. A recent poll of millennials found 38 per cent of them think having children is too expensive, and 31 per cent are just not interested.

Unlike you, who would fuck any skirt, anytime, and then fuck off and abdicate all responsibility for the child's upbringing.

[Crabcakes]

I'm guessing even the Mail baulked at "How will alpha male bosses like me find new skirt to replace their ageing wives if they have to work from home and - god forbid - do some parenting?" as a headline.