[Yug]

Also, Pride Month is June. Why bring it up now?

US Armed Forces Appreciation Month is May, immediately followed by Pride Month. It is a constant whine of the American Right that 'them thar unnatural shirtlifters' overshadow and eclipse the good ole fascist soldier-rimming.

It makes sense when you remember on which side of the Atlantic Littlecock lives.

[Samanfur]

Also, Pride Month is June. Why bring it up now?

Given that it's currently Black History Month, my guess is that he forgot what he was supposed to be outraged about this week.

[Watchman]

Fucking hell, who's writing this shit? The racist old lady from Alan Partridge?

'They don't want to obey our laws, Alan'

What’s a 95th Frinton birthday? I’ve just had a 68th Loughborough birthday

[Andy McDandy]

Frinton birthday is a nonspecific act that makes a Cleveland Steamer* look like something out of a kids birthday party.

Well, it is now.

*Don't. Just don't.

[Youngian]

To be fair on Gerda she didn’t invite Farage, he was in the room next door and just butted in for a photo-op.

[Andy McDandy]

Today's The Ignorance test - can you get from the upcoming budget to the collapse of society via toilet roll in 15 minutes?

Right, chief.

When Gordon Brown mounted his smash-and-grab raid on private pension funds, after Labour’s 1997 landslide, I dubbed him The Man Who Stole Your Old Age....the public sector – Labour’s core client base...gold-plated, index-linked pensions...Brown’s money-grabbing assault on private pension funds.... taxpayers forced to pick up the tab.... union paymasters... undermine the last Conservative government....Inflation-busting wage rises ... train drivers and junior doctors...Aslef’s Mick Lynch...Pro-Labour civil servants...naked politicking thwarted so many Conservative policies ...tackling illegal immigration...£300 winter fuel allowance...‘Two-Tier’ Keir... unions’ playbook... hideous wind farms and pylons...Bog Roll Bandits... imported pasta...Third World A&E departments...pension fund grab...spy on regulars who make ‘inappropriate’ comments...woman can have a penis...Elon Musk... Labour interference in the U.S elections...heap, subsidised Chinese imports...Ed Miliband’s deranged Net Zero dash...20mph limits, cycle lanes and LTNs... civil servants ‘working from home’...hand back British waters to Brussels...‘reset’ of relations with the EU....Ange Rayner’s neo-Communist ‘workers’ rights’ charter....run on the pound../..inheritance tax...complete meltdown.

Think he may have missed out the Palestinians, having nothing against gay people but, and killing Goths there, but otherwise a clean sweep.

Cunt.

[davidjay]

No dopey birds?

[Andy McDandy]

Good spot - he does seem to think that calling two senior politicians Martha and Ange is hilarious though.

He's also got a thing about older people working in garden centres, and some idea that everyone working in the public sector (he highlights local government and the NHS) is working - if you can call it that - in unimaginable luxury. This seems to go back to his early days as an actual reporter, when he covered a CBI meeting where there was quite a lavish buffet laid on.

I think back on so many crumbling libraries and office blocks, broken lifts, sporadically cleaned toilets, leaking roofs, rampant rising damp and much more, and wonder if that was the last time he deigned to step inside a public sector building.

[Bones McCoy]

I remember food laid on.
It only happened if we had to travel to another site and were expected to work through our meal break.

The thought of Littledick missing a meal - there would be an entire editorial of whinging.

[Andy McDandy]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/arti ... elled.html

Bonfire night's being cancelled! The horror!

Except of course, it's not.

Amid his fuzzy recollections of RJ Unstead history, the big council display on the rec, small boys and jumpers for goalposts, we learn that an MP is backing plans to ban fireworks. One MP. Not a minister. Not policy. Littledick can't believe such a thing could be possible. Of course not when he's conjuring up visions of families in scarves and mittens warming their hands on baked potatoes while fiddling around with sparklers. Now try kids with their fingers burned or blown off. Bangers chucked at cats. How about people of a swarthy hue setting them off for their Ramadamadingdong or whatever it's called every weekend from now to March? Yeah, bet you're OK with those being banned. You cunt.

He lists a load of caahncils that have 'banned' bonfire night (over a period of several years, in what seem to be mainly one-off incidents) - Devon, Colchester, Watford, Slough. Not exactly Labour-run citadels. But maybe that's the point - it's our fireworks they're banning - not theirs.

He has a pop at Hallowe'en as well - too commercial, too American. Too in your face. Not like proper, staid, sensible British celebrations. They probably go whoop at some point. Then has a go at the schools - not teaching proper history, but all that stuff about That Lot instead. Couldn't make it up.

Anyway, he starts the article by reciting the November 5th rhyme. And gets it wrong.

Thick cunt.

[Killer Whale]

He's been out of the country so long that he's lost touch with his audience. Local Facebook groups are full from the beginning of September of Mailite types whining about kids letting off fireworks and calling for bans.

[davidjay]

It was gone midnight when we had a fireworks display last night. Never mind banning them, possession should be a capital offence.

[slilley]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/arti ... elled.html

Bonfire night's being cancelled! The horror!

Except of course, it's not.

Amid his fuzzy recollections of RJ Unstead history, the big council display on the rec, small boys and jumpers for goalposts, we learn that an MP is backing plans to ban fireworks. One MP. Not a minister. Not policy. Littledick can't believe such a thing could be possible. Of course not when he's conjuring up visions of families in scarves and mittens warming their hands on baked potatoes while fiddling around with sparklers. Now try kids with their fingers burned or blown off. Bangers chucked at cats. How about people of a swarthy hue setting them off for their Ramadamadingdong or whatever it's called every weekend from now to March? Yeah, bet you're OK with those being banned. You cunt.

He lists a load of caahncils that have 'banned' bonfire night (over a period of several years, in what seem to be mainly one-off incidents) - Devon, Colchester, Watford, Slough. Not exactly Labour-run citadels. But maybe that's the point - it's our fireworks they're banning - not theirs.

He has a pop at Hallowe'en as well - too commercial, too American. Too in your face. Not like proper, staid, sensible British celebrations. They probably go whoop at some point. Then has a go at the schools - not teaching proper history, but all that stuff about That Lot instead. Couldn't make it up.

Anyway, he starts the article by reciting the November 5th rhyme. And gets it wrong.

Thick cunt.

In point of fact a number of councils have stopped organising firework displays because they have no money and want to spend it on less worthy things like fixing potholes and adult social care. Fireworks are ver much discretionary spending and on the thousands spend organising a display won’t fill their financial deficits it will make a albeit small contribution.

[Andy McDandy]

Yup, larks and parks, always first to go.

[davidjay]

Are big Bonfire Night firework displays still a thing? There seems to be one every weekend now for some reason or another so maybe the novelty's just worn off.

[soulboy]

Can't move for organised firework displays around here, school PTAs have stepped into the gap left by the big caaahncil event. None of them wants to limit their audience so they spread them over several days. A couple of years ago I got caught out by a display taking place on 10th November; all hell broke loose as the dog and I were walking back from the pub and he dragged me home at a sprint.

We'll be walking the dog in daylight and whacking up the volume every night for the next couple of weeks. I'd sooner have a big "one and done".

[davidjay]

Something struck me today - let's say Dickie gets £250,000 a year and each column is 2,000 words. Rounding a few figures that's £2.50 a word. That pathetic, not even funny the first time Money For Nothing phrase about furlough gets him £20 whenever he can fit it in. Misquoting the Guy Fawkes rhyme is the best part of fifty quid. Every time he writes "dopey bird" that's another five. How the absolute fuck anyone can call that worth the money is beyond me.

[Watchman]

It’s not what he “does”, but the effect it has on the simpletons, thats the justification

[Youngian]

Thankfully I can't think of many recognisable replacement names that would fit RL's demographic, Richard Madeley, Eamon Holmes?
The Fleet Street generation below Littlejohn from a similar background (done a bit of showbiz and politics) like Matthew Wright, James O' Brien or Susie Boniface certainly aren't getting a Mail gig.

[Andy McDandy]

At his most palatable, he does a good line in ordinary bloke, here's what it looks like to me, live and let live. Martin Samuel used to have a column in the pre-Desmond Express that covered similar ground. Ditto Brian Reade in the Mirror. Both veering leftwards on politics and social issues.