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Mark François, literary giant. Or something.

Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2021 1:32 am
by Malcolm Armsteen
His self published book 'Spartan Victory' has received a review on Amazon:
Wowbagger the Infinite wrote: 5.0 out of 5 stars The Greatest Work of Literature Since "À la Recherche du Temps Perdu"
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 3 December 2021
Everything I wanted this book to be, it was. One of Britain's greatest ever Politicians, his service to his country through his various military exploits would be enough for several volumes of mere mortal's autobiographies, but Mr Francois takes us even further with tales of his own selfless dedication of ripping Britain bodily from the evil clutches of the Empire regardless of what harm it would do to the economy, the working classes and the entire future of the country. He really has put the count into country.

There are so many wonderous moments, almost too many to list in this short review, but personal favourites of mine include his clandestine work as a ninja with the Rough Ramblers in various commando raids on Tidworth Barracks NAAFI, the moment on BBC Newsnight when he nearly chinned Will Self if Emily Maitlis hadn't held him back (mainly because she was so in love with him), his legendary apres conference party in 2017 when he had to disappoint both Cameron Diaz AND Keira Knightly (who were both right up for it), as he was otherwise engaged trying to give Nadine Dorries her worming tablet, and the moment he broke the land speed record, recorded a duet with Tony Bennett, knocked out Anthony Joshua with one punch, and managed to reach the top shelf magazine he was after without resorting to either his step ladder or his "Mr Big" uplift shoes.

The finest work of literature this country has produced since Don Estelle's autobiography. And both roughly the same height. Read and be utterly amazed.

And this is the blurb. I really can't decide whether or not it's satire.
Spartan Victory: The inside story of the Battle for Brexit Kindle Edition
by Mark Francois (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
Spartan Victory is a dynamic, insider account of the “Battle for Brexit” in Parliament and the media, written by the MP who served as the Brexiteer’s de-facto “Chief Whip”, throughout the epic struggle to uphold the result of the 2016 Referendum. As such, it provides a unique perspective on arguably the most important event in British political history since the end of the Second World War.

This work incorporates much never previously published material, including the highly secret Brexiteer Whipping Team – some of whom now serve in the current Cabinet – and who resisted the Government’s so-called EU “Withdrawal Agreement” which was actually designed to do precisely the opposite.

This candid, sometimes humorous account explains what was really at stake during this gruelling contest, to uphold the British people’s decision to Leave the EU and how 28 Tory MPs, the so-called “Spartans” held out until the bitter end, in what ultimately became a battle to uphold the democratic principle itself.

“If you voted for Brexit, you really ought to buy this book” – Jacob Rees-Mogg MP

'Brexit Whipping Team' - Fnaar fnaar.

Re: Marc François, literary giant. Or something.

Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2021 2:44 am
by mattomac
If you voted for Brexit you’d buy anything so that quote from The Victorian Ghost is quite appropriate,

Re: Marc François, literary giant. Or something.

Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2021 3:20 am
by Oboogie
There is no beginning to his talent.

Re: Marc François, literary giant. Or something.

Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2021 3:24 am
by Oboogie
Posted elsewhere but now the corpulent Corporal has his own thread I suppose this should be here.

Re: Marc François, literary giant. Or something.

Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2021 11:22 am
by Youngian
“If you voted for Brexit, you really ought to buy this book” – Jacob Rees-Mogg MP
Agreed, its what they deserve.

Re: Marc François, literary giant. Or something.

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2021 5:34 pm
by soulboy
the MP who served as the Brexiteer’s de-facto “Chief Whip
Brexiteer singular.

Re: Marc François, literary giant. Or something.

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2021 7:29 pm
by zuriblue
Unfortunately Amazon have removed this review of Francois’ tome.
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5E5102BF-0896-4E2A-9EA1-30CE0B8D93A9.jpeg (480.04 KiB) Viewed 3607 times

Re: Marc François, literary giant. Or something.

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2021 7:34 pm
by Watchman
Definitely untrue, as there was no mention how he convinced John and Paul to get the orchestra to hold that long chord

Re: Marc François, literary giant. Or something.

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2021 8:36 pm
by Malcolm Armsteen
But we have:

Came with both a free packet of crayons and a blindfold... make of that what you will.
Edit: “My father Reginald Francois was a D-Day veteran, he never submitted to bullying by any German, neither will his son.”

Within the book, Mainwaring... pardon me, Mark Francois, explains that his father was a stoker in the Royal Navy during World War II and as his war service was spent within the boiler room of a tugboat, it was doubtful if he met any bullying Germans.

His son spent a few weekends guarding a bridge leading onto a road that might have led Warsaw Pact forces to BMH Rinteln... so he never met any bullying Germans either... more than likely he met nice Germans taking their dog for a walk in the early morning or going for a healthy jog.

Seriously, don't bother with this and get yourself Michel Barnier's 'My Secret Brexit Diary' which is a far better tome about what became of the disastrous Brexit process which we all now find ourselves in.

Re: Marc François, literary giant. Or something.

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2021 8:36 pm
by Andy McDandy
Nor the bit where he told Freddie to do Live Aid.

Re: Mark François, literary giant. Or something.

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2021 9:12 pm
by kreuzberger
Mark, Marque, Marc - there were a lot people born around that time. It is important to get that right.