100 %
- Tue Aug 22, 2023 3:15 pm
#51237
One reason for the anger/fear that tends to supercharge opinions on this issue is over-reach - often well meant, but ultimately flawed ideas frequently put in place by people outside of the community in question because they think it is the right thing to do.
Case in point: my work encourages, but not enforces, people to put their pronouns in their signatures. I do not do this, however, and were there any push to make it compulsory I would be very strongly against it. Yet (I hope) I’m not some bigoted pile of mouldering ham, so what gives?
Well, a number of things:
1. It’s very personal information that reveals a lot more than a title such as Mr or Mrs/Ms, but also it invites people to infer even more again
2. Most people where I work have regular dealings with external people. And once send is pressed, I have little control where that email ends up. My colleagues at work may be enlightened enough not to care if someone is they/them, but John or Joanna Q. Bigot who gets it forwarded on to them from a mate who says “look at this woke idiot working for XXX govt. agency” might. And they in turn might have some very unpleasant friends.
3. I have no problem with it being voluntary, and people choosing to show their pronouns either for personal expression or in support of others. But the moment it becomes compulsory it is no long a choice but a label - someone then has to choose what group they are in, and worse may be forced to reveal something they still weren’t comfortable doing OR put themselves in a group they feel doesn’t describe them but they aren’t quite ready yet to come out: and this exact scenario happened to a non-binary friend of mine when their academic employer imposed such a policy, leading to a decision that ultimately they’re comfortable with but still via a lot of somewhat awkward messages along the lines of “oh, I didn’t realise you were a lesbian/bisexual/not a girl” and so on. None of them meant with malice, but still a mental load to process on top of having to effectively bring forward a decision to come out because of an arbitrary deadline imposed by an HR team trying to help people in their position, but in practice doing the opposite.
Change is difficult, but changing at the right pace is even harder.
Case in point: my work encourages, but not enforces, people to put their pronouns in their signatures. I do not do this, however, and were there any push to make it compulsory I would be very strongly against it. Yet (I hope) I’m not some bigoted pile of mouldering ham, so what gives?
Well, a number of things:
1. It’s very personal information that reveals a lot more than a title such as Mr or Mrs/Ms, but also it invites people to infer even more again
2. Most people where I work have regular dealings with external people. And once send is pressed, I have little control where that email ends up. My colleagues at work may be enlightened enough not to care if someone is they/them, but John or Joanna Q. Bigot who gets it forwarded on to them from a mate who says “look at this woke idiot working for XXX govt. agency” might. And they in turn might have some very unpleasant friends.
3. I have no problem with it being voluntary, and people choosing to show their pronouns either for personal expression or in support of others. But the moment it becomes compulsory it is no long a choice but a label - someone then has to choose what group they are in, and worse may be forced to reveal something they still weren’t comfortable doing OR put themselves in a group they feel doesn’t describe them but they aren’t quite ready yet to come out: and this exact scenario happened to a non-binary friend of mine when their academic employer imposed such a policy, leading to a decision that ultimately they’re comfortable with but still via a lot of somewhat awkward messages along the lines of “oh, I didn’t realise you were a lesbian/bisexual/not a girl” and so on. None of them meant with malice, but still a mental load to process on top of having to effectively bring forward a decision to come out because of an arbitrary deadline imposed by an HR team trying to help people in their position, but in practice doing the opposite.
Change is difficult, but changing at the right pace is even harder.
lambswool liked this
