Mailwatch(ed) Forum

The entire column seems to be based around stories that have previously appeared in the Mail. That is taking laziness to new levels.

I can remember one conference in Blackpool where my old mate Terry Duffy, the engineers' leader

He has a lot of ‘old mates.’ Usually dead so we can’t check if they were really just contacts.

...my old mate Terry...

I recall the Reeves & Mortimer character, the Man with the Stick, who would wax lyrical about his old mate Terry, who clearly held him in utter contempt.

Glastonbury is truly Schrödinger’s festival - simultaneously packed with upper middle class types gentrifying it, or filthy barefoot crusty hippies who should get a job, and the music is by turns boring, awful, too tame and too extreme.

It’s almost like it appeals to everyone, and there’s something for anyone that goes to enjoy. Heck, it even appeals to killjoys as they get to write about how much they dislike it every sodding year!

And attendance at Glastonbury isn't compulsory. People who go are exercising their freedom of choice. It's the same thing with lots of non-compulsory events the Right like to whine about . To the Right, freedom of choice is supposed to mean everyone else is free to do whatever we approve of, unless we say otherwise.

I think the key word there is enjoying - it does seem that some Mailites only get enjoyment from the suffering of others. Otherwise:

Young people - what are they doing there? Wasting money when they should be working and saving.

Older people - ought to know better.

Rich people - why are they slumming it?

Poor people - why are they even there?

Acts they've never heard of - who?

Acts they have heard of - I thought they were OK, ruined it now by appearing at this dreadful thing.

Yug:

And attendance at Glastonbury isn't compulsory. People who go are exercising their freedom of choice. It's the same thing with lots of non-compulsory events the Right like to whine about . To the Right, freedom of choice is supposed to mean everyone else is free to do whatever we approve of, unless we say otherwise.

But it's on TV, and the radio. BBC TV and radio. That means YOU'RE paying for it. And you're FORCED to watch it, just like when they have a lefty on a discussion programme, because the possibility of, oh, I don't know, fucking watching something else doesn't exist.

Although on that score, it does appear that in the absence of a problem page photo casebook needing underwear-clad models, punishment duty on the Mail is rigorously watching daytime TV in the hope that something - anything - happens and can be breathlessly reported on.

The political Right like to be in control. They don't like things they cannot control. Littlejohn, Toby Young, etc are paid handsomely to shit-stir about people doing legal things that the Right have no control over. I don't think the average Mailites would spare much thought for such things if the right-wing gobshites didn't stir them up and tell them what to think.

What's the difference between the Mailites and shopping trollies?

Shopping trollies have minds of their own.

That old joke is truer than a lot of people realise.

Jeebus. Fucking. CHRIST.

And just as the Glasto crowd had once serenaded Jeremy Corbyn, surely in the interests of political balance Elton could have rewritten Candle In The Wind as a tribute to the now departed Boris Johnson.

It would have been worth it, if only to watch the furious reaction of the Left-wing luvvies in the audience. So with apologies to Elton and lyricist Bernie Taupin . . .

Goodbye, World King. So they've screwed you after all

You had the nerve to champion Leave. While those around you backed Remain

They've crawled out of the woodwork. And conspired to topple you

For having the audacity. To get us out of the EU.

Though it seems to me you've lived your life. On a gamble and a whim.

But when push has come to shove. You found a way to win.

And that's why they resent you. Want to bury you for good.

Because you've always reached the parts. These losers never could.

Taking the culture war to Elton John fans isn’t going to be the vote winner Tories think it is. ‘They just hate everyone,’ was the verdict I overheard from picnicking teens in the park, last week.

Regardless of anything else - and that’s a LOT of anything - it doesn’t even fucking scan.

“Goodbye Eton’s cream” would have been a better first line, and that took me all of 20 seconds thought.

“Goodbye Eton’s cream” would have been a better first line, and that took me all of 20 seconds thought.

Longer than Bernie Taupin spent for his Diana lyric changes

Youngian wrote: ↑Tue Jun 27, 2023 6:04 pm

“Goodbye Eton’s cream” would have been a better first line, and that took me all of 20 seconds thought.

Longer than Bernie Taupin spent for his Diana lyric changes

Off topic, but one of the most pathetic things I have ever seen was on the tv coverage of her funeral they had Chris “my real surname is Davidson but that’s not pretentious enough” De Burgh on. They asked him a clearly staged question on what he thought of Elton’s tribute and he said something damningly lukewarm like ‘it’s very nice’, then revealed he’d written his own tribute song and would the nice ladies and gentlemen like to hear it?

He then proceeded to dribble out the most dreary, saccharine, treacle-sodden monstrosity I think I’ve ever heard. It was called ‘new star in heaven’ but may as well have been called ‘look at meeeeeeeeeeee!’. It was obviously something written in about 10 minutes for the sole purpose of cashing in on that sweet sweet grief money.

When he finished he was clearly expecting people to be weeping at his sincerity, but it just got a polite round of applause and then everyone moved on to the next item. And you’ll note it’s Reg Dwight who’s a national treasure and headlining Glasto rather than the pompous arse with a well known reputation for taking even mild criticism about as well as Alan Partridge (and responding to it in equally foot-in-mouth ways).

Karma.

Puff Daddy was so traumatised by the shooting of Biggy Smalls it inspired him to mumble over a Police record.

The mumbling wasn't the half of it. There was also the horrific dancing, moves so horrific that... how do you describe what Sting was doing before Faith Evans and a gospel choir step in to save the day?

Off-off topic, but De Burgh's blue plaque in Dublin was the go to location for Gardaí looking to run a few in for public urination back in the gubu gombeen days

Youngian wrote: ↑Wed Jun 28, 2023 9:44 pm Puff Daddy was so traumatised by the shooting of Biggy Smalls it inspired him to mumble over a Police record.

I think it was Mark Lamaar who said it was quite a feat to cover a Sting song and make it worse.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailym ... sible.html

FREEZE PEACH DEMOCRASEE WILLADAPEEPUL SENTEENMILLYUN!

Big long whinge. Cunt.

Try walking into a court, calling the judge a wanker and see how your free speech holds up.

These fragile snowflakes clearly believe they should be above the kind of robust criticism which is essential in any properly functioning democracy.

Pure irony

If the Ultra woke have taken over everything why do we still have a print media which is overwhelmingly right wing and why are most of the new TV channels like GB News and TalkTV push a right wing agenda.