Mailwatch(ed) Forum

What is it with the Firm and gingers?

Whilst I am sure that nobody in the Government would wish ill on our Monarch, it can't be denied that with the way the winter is shaping up, a once in 70 years event would be a huge distraction from reality.

If I was Brenda, I'd be checking for carelessly placed banana skins.

The All New KevS wrote: ↑Fri Oct 22, 2021 8:50 pm Whilst I am sure that nobody in the Government would wish ill on our Monarch, it can't be denied that with the way the winter is shaping up, a once in 70 years event would be a huge distraction from reality.

If I was Brenda, I'd be checking for carelessly placed banana skins.

Especially after the weekly meeting with the PM.

The All New KevS wrote: ↑Fri Oct 22, 2021 6:27 pm "Her Majesty has passed on. We had better advise that London Bridge is down."

"Very well, I shall inform the Prince of Wales, you need to let Downing Street know"

"Never mind that, we need to let Nicholas Witchell know first or he'll have a mardy strop again"

You'd feel compelled to fuck with the weird little bastard.

"The queen is dead, Nick"
"Oh woe, oh waily waily"
" Dead sick of you, you obsequious shit. Get a real job"

He's already got another job, selling shonky gold medallions to the gammon.

Which sums the bag o' shite up very neatly...

Malcolm Armsteen wrote: ↑Sun Oct 24, 2021 7:36 am He's already got another job, selling shonky gold medallions to the gammon.

What’s this reference?

He won’t be going to the same swanky restaurants as Salvador Dali (alleged to have autographed cheques with sketches so they’d be worth more uncashed).

Have I got the wrong royal arselicker?

Malcolm Armsteen wrote: ↑Sun Oct 24, 2021 10:32 am Have I got the wrong royal arselicker?

Sounds like one of Paul Burrell or Sarah Ferguson’s enterprises

MisterMuncher wrote: ↑Sun Oct 24, 2021 4:09 am

The All New KevS wrote: ↑Fri Oct 22, 2021 6:27 pm "Her Majesty has passed on. We had better advise that London Bridge is down."

"Very well, I shall inform the Prince of Wales, you need to let Downing Street know"

"Never mind that, we need to let Nicholas Witchell know first or he'll have a mardy strop again"

You'd feel compelled to fuck with the weird little bastard.

"The queen is dead, Nick"
"Oh woe, oh waily waily"
" Dead sick of you, you obsequious shit. Get a real job"

Reminds me of the Spitting Image sketch where Charles finds his mother slumped in a chair, assumes the worst, spends thirty seconds saying "At last! My duty is now clear!" only for Brenda to suddenly leap up crying "April Fool!".

And that was nearly thirty years ago.

Also, Witchell is 68 himself, and so clearly hanging on for the big day. This will probably result in the Firm announcing the great departure two days after he retires, even if she expired weeks beforehand. Admittedly there might have to be a spot of "Weekend At Bernie's" shenanigans if there are any public engagements beforehand, but I'm sure they'll manage.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-59056725

After a lot of the big dogs dropped out it's hardly surprising that Brenda would follow suit, though the mind does wonder...

I thought Charlie Boy was supposed to be taking on more duties from his mother anyway, and wouldn't this be right up his street?

Maybe he doesn't want to have to talk to Johnson.

Signed off for another two weeks in effect.

I just have this vision of a doctor screaming at her whilst she potters about "Will you sit down, woman!!!!"

Fuck, poppy day is shaping up to be a right hoot...

She should take tips from son number 2 on how to rest. He's into his 27th year of it. (Reading between the lines on his Wiki page about his Navy service he's pretty much done nothing since 1994).

Here's a good article from Bloomberg about how Britain is beginning to Think the Unthinkable.


https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/artic ... obal-en-GB

Within 5 minutes someone will say it's just like North Korea.

In terms of the practicalities of what happens when she passes, this article from a few years ago covers it pretty robustly

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/201 ... don-bridge

As for what will happen as a society, it'll be Poppy Day on steroids.

No longer attending the cenotaph ceremony because "she's sprained her back", according to Andrew Marr.

.... And consequently Twitter dons the tinfoil, and London Bridge starts trending. Back injuries are strange things, you can just sneeze and then not be able to move for days if you're susceptible. Seeing that Brenda is 95, and looking increasingly hunched these days, I suspect she is.