Mailwatch(ed) Forum

Looks like the last scenes of Scarface. Say hello to my fuckeeng beeg tosser of a friend.

Crack out the nanoviolins everyone - Boris’s pseudomemoir (in that the memories within only bear a passing resemblance to reality) is officially a flop

Just a shame he got paid up front rather than a royalties deal

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-ente ... 34136.html

Yes, but Bill Oddie thought it was “lovely stuff”

Crabcakes wrote: ↑Wed Oct 23, 2024 10:20 pm Crack out the nanoviolins everyone - Boris’s pseudomemoir (in that the memories within only bear a passing resemblance to reality) is officially a flop

Just a shame he got paid up front rather than a royalties deal

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-ente ... 34136.html

Says Johnson received a £2m advance from Harper Collins. We all know from the music biz an advance isn't a wage. But we can assume there's different rules for Bozo working for a Murdoch company. More like a golden goodbye redundancy package for all the good work the former PM did for Rupert.

And I'd assume Harper Collins understood his popularity is not concentrated among people who read books.

He (Osman) added: “A lot of people would kill for 42,000 books, but [it’s] almost impossible not to sell that many when he’s had that many free adverts on things and he’s very, very famous. But yeah, that’s the Christmas bonuses at HarperCollins gone.”

Getting the money back would probably involve powerful magnets and tenacious lawyers. I suspect that they may cut their losses on the Shakespeare book, and be very loath to commission anything else from him.

It’s no wonder he’s pushing so hard for some sort of US job, given he’s incinerated so many bridges over here - as soon as anyone hires him, they find out he does absolutely fuck-all and phones it in while demanding top dollar.

Even if Dacre loves him, I can’t see his Mail contract getting renewed given they’re paying through the nose for stuff worse than Littlejohn belches out.

Watchman wrote: ↑Thu Oct 24, 2024 12:18 am Yes, but Bill Oddie thought it was “lovely stuff”

Did he? When was that ?

Crabcakes wrote: ↑Thu Oct 24, 2024 10:47 am It’s no wonder he’s pushing so hard for some sort of US job, given he’s incinerated so many bridges over here - as soon as anyone hires him, they find out he does absolutely fuck-all and phones it in while demanding top dollar.

Even if Dacre loves him, I can’t see his Mail contract getting renewed given they’re paying through the nose for stuff worse than Littlejohn belches out.

If "insiders" are to be believed, there's a lot of ill will out there from the rank and file - not just in the newsroom but in the finance offices too. He didn't shift the dial on election polling, his exclusives have been largely crap, the bulk of his articles a rehash of the "quirky fact - inalienable rights of the honest yeoman - glorious English history - spoilsport Starmer - FREEDOM!" template, and his name or photo doesn't increase sales* (has that even been a thing in recent years?).

As the old saying goes, if they sack you after a few weeks, they screwed up. If after a few months or years, you screwed up. He can't write another autobiography for a while, and tales of cosying up to iffy foreigners for free shit will not go down well with the readership. I'd not be surprised if they graciously part company in the near future.

*While I'm aware that in the 80s and 90s, a picture of Princess Diana was supposed to add a few tens of thousands onto a daily sales total, is there anyone or anything capable of doing so in the digital/Covid age? Conversely, if Johnson is away for a week, does the Saturday Mail have a sales slump? Personally I find it hard to believe that anyone buys a paper for one particular columnist or feature, and brand loyalty covers so much more than big names - there's political stance, price, reputation, force of habit and much more. Very hard to unpick.

Abernathy wrote: ↑Thu Oct 24, 2024 10:58 am Did he? When was that ?

Alan Partridge reference.

Andy McDandy wrote: ↑Thu Oct 24, 2024 11:19 am

Abernathy wrote: ↑Thu Oct 24, 2024 10:58 am Did he? When was that ?

Alan Partridge reference.

Nope. You're going to have to explain.

Andy McDandy wrote: ↑Thu Oct 24, 2024 8:45 am Getting the money back would probably involve powerful magnets and tenacious lawyers. I suspect that they may cut their losses on the Shakespeare book, and be very loath to commission anything else from him.

Having written books under contract myself, I know a little about this. I have been paid an advance once before. That was in three stages. The first part came when the publisher received the manuscript, the second when they accepted the manuscript. This means when it has gone through the editing process and everything has been checked and it is typo free etc etc (from the reviews I have read there hasn’t been much fact checking). The third part of the payment comes when it is published. In Johnson’s case he has fulfilled the contract and been given the money in all likelihood. The publisher now needs to shift as many copies as possible to recoup their money which would seem to be the gamble that has so far failed. Not sure how much of a case they would have to try and get money back from him as at face value he has kept his side of the contract.

Abernathy wrote: ↑Thu Oct 24, 2024 11:36 am

Andy McDandy wrote: ↑Thu Oct 24, 2024 11:19 am

Alan Partridge reference.

Nope. You're going to have to explain.

In the sitcom "I'm Alan Partridge", Bill Oddie is often mentioned as one of the few other celebs who has time for Alan. In-universe he was the only one who would supply a positive quote to go on the blurb for Alan's autobiography.

slilley wrote: ↑Thu Oct 24, 2024 11:41 am

Andy McDandy wrote: ↑Thu Oct 24, 2024 8:45 am Getting the money back would probably involve powerful magnets and tenacious lawyers. I suspect that they may cut their losses on the Shakespeare book, and be very loath to commission anything else from him.

Having written books under contract myself, I know a little about this. I have been paid an advance once before. That was in three stages. The first part came when the publisher received the manuscript, the second when they accepted the manuscript. This means when it has gone through the editing process and everything has been checked and it is typo free etc etc (from the reviews I have read there hasn’t been much fact checking). The third part of the payment comes when it is published. In Johnson’s case he has fulfilled the contract and been given the money in all likelihood. The publisher now needs to shift as many copies as possible to recoup their money which would seem to be the gamble that has so far failed. Not sure how much of a case they would have to try and get money back from him as at face value he has kept his side of the contract.

When I received a flat fee it was a third on signing a contract, a third on delivery and a third when published. Advances on royalty might be different.

davidjay wrote: ↑Thu Oct 24, 2024 2:24 pm

slilley wrote: ↑Thu Oct 24, 2024 11:41 am

Andy McDandy wrote: ↑Thu Oct 24, 2024 8:45 am Getting the money back would probably involve powerful magnets and tenacious lawyers. I suspect that they may cut their losses on the Shakespeare book, and be very loath to commission anything else from him.

Having written books under contract myself, I know a little about this. I have been paid an advance once before. That was in three stages. The first part came when the publisher received the manuscript, the second when they accepted the manuscript. This means when it has gone through the editing process and everything has been checked and it is typo free etc etc (from the reviews I have read there hasn’t been much fact checking). The third part of the payment comes when it is published. In Johnson’s case he has fulfilled the contract and been given the money in all likelihood. The publisher now needs to shift as many copies as possible to recoup their money which would seem to be the gamble that has so far failed. Not sure how much of a case they would have to try and get money back from him as at face value he has kept his side of the contract.

When I received a flat fee it was a third on signing a contract, a third on delivery and a third when published. Advances on royalty might be different.

There are a number of different types of contracts out there. Most of the ones I have signed the royalties at 10% of cover price or 10% of a discount price like when the book is bought via Amazon or is remaindered only kick in on publication, no advance. Be interesting to see what Johnson’s contract looked like,

10% of cover price is a decent rate. Most contracts don't give anything for heavily discounted books (eg The Works), so that's BoZo fucked.

davidjay wrote: ↑Fri Oct 25, 2024 11:12 am 10% of cover price is a decent rate. Most contracts don't give anything for heavily discounted books (eg The Works), so that's BoZo fucked.

In those circumstances my contracts have said 10% of the discount price. I have seen the Johnson book being offered for sale at £16, so only £1.60 coming off the £2m

Lovely little wake-up for Mr Blobby. Wish more U.K. journalists would remind him and Truss of how laughed at and pathetic they are

https://www.threads.net/@implausibleblo ... Bq9d97OuyS

Just caught Johnson on Channel 4's US election special, he was waffling on about how Trump would do the right thing for the people in Ukraine. John Bolton and another American commentator who were on the panel were both rolling their eyes at the crap coming out of Johnson's mouth.

Johnson is on C4, alongside Stormy Daniels (!), and the bastard is brazenly plugging his fucking book every three minutes. Cunt. Maitlis and Guru-Murthy are doing their level best to skewer him, but I just want him off the fucking screen. Catch a fucking grip, C4.

Only watched an hour of coverage of the Rest is... team on YouTube but consciously avoided Ch4 anyway. At least reach out to Mogg or Kwarteng for a pro Trump voice but Johnson! Oh fuck off.