https://www.dailymail.co.uk/columnists/ ... -park.html
OK, Richard, what do you want to do this week? Anything about America's off, as we're getting hints that the readers aren't that keen on the guys in power. Pope Francis? Shit, no. Bit of a leftie, and a bit soon to smear him. I know, why don't you do one of your Komedy Karnival of Khaos pieces. You know, with Gerry Adams as a barker, and air stewards pointing out where the bins are?
But what's the hook, boss?
Umm....OK, there's this theme park. Well, there's this idea for a theme park. So you can C/P a load from those old Winter Wonderland pieces, then just imagine what the rest of it will be like.
You mean, make it up?
Ha ha, Richard. The commentators don't care. They fucking love the perception of persecution.
Seriously, this is his vision of hell:
There would be no famous victories at Trafalgar or Waterloo, for instance. Instead, we could expect a spectacular tableau exposing Britain’s ‘shameful’ past, centred on colonialism and slavery. Neither would there be mention of the Royal Navy’s heroic role in stamping out the Atlantic slave trade, or the Army and RAF’s contribution to liberating Europe.
No military tattoo, marking our victories in two World Wars. No World Cup, either, because there was no women’s team in 1966.
All visitors must join police and masked demonstrators in a ceremonial taking of the knee at a re-enactment of the Black Lives Matter riots, as a ‘racist’ statue of Sir Winston Churchill is torn down and hurled into the boating lake.
No D-Day landings, either. They would give way to tens of thousands of illegal migrants being welcomed with open arms as they arrive on the beaches of Kent in a flotilla of small boats, escorted by Border Force and the RNLI.
The suffragettes would get short shrift, too, as a planned display to celebrate women getting the vote is attacked by a mob of ‘trans rights’ activists, burning an effigy of JK Rowling.
Out would go the War Of The Roses, replaced by the Battle of Orgreave between Arthur Scargill’s fearless flying pickets and the mounted division of the Metropolitan Police force.
Not that they would acknowledge that this confrontation happened during the 1984/5 miners’ strike.
Pitheads would be replaced by windmills, pretending that Britain has always been a pioneering ‘green’ superpower.
The on-site Hole In The Wall pub would be boarded up, because of the ban on alcohol, and the National Insurance increases, and you can forget about the carvery serving the roast beef and Yorkshire pudding of Olde England. Only vegan dishes will be available at the kebab shop next to the Central Mosque.
The patriotic Last Night Of The Proms-style open-air concert would be scrapped. In its place Billy Bragg will lead the communal singing of his anthem Take Down The Union Jack as the rainbow banner of the MGBGT+ brigade is raised over Oxfordshire, alongside the blue and yellow stars of the EU flag.
This will be followed by a march-past of the Oxfordshire branch of Friends Of Hamas, chanting ‘From The River To The Sea’ and calling for the death of all Jews.
Before mounting their bikes for the long journey home – cars having been banned – visitors will be compelled to bang saucepans together to celebrate ‘our’ magnificent NHS, which as everyone knows is the envy of the world.
And with a final flourish, an Islamist suicide bomber will blow himself up on the replacement bus service, which has only been provided because the train drivers are on strike again.
As for the villagers of Bucknell, if they’re lucky they might get a Low Traffic Neighbourhood out of it. Still, they needn’t worry.
The chances of two million people turning up in deepest Oxfordshire and paying good money to celebrate diversity while being battered over the head with a crude lecture about the evils of Empire are less than zero.
Yeah, because
you just fucking invented it!!!
BTW, 'vegan kebabs'? Fuck off.
26.1 %
60.9 %
4.3 %
- By The Weeping Angel
- By Malcolm Armsteen
- By RedSparrows