[Andy McDandy]

Two thirds of the way through, and it's even beginning to dawn on Sranal that this year's crop are all a bit shit.

How shit? Well, let's take last night. Down to 10 candidates, and they're set the task of cooking up a new brand of hot sauce and marketing it all within 2 days. Despite this being the sort of thing people spend years working on, and being split into teams in a way that would never happen in reality, off they fuck to do their worst.

And boy, do they ever. Team one produce a generic chilli sauce, and film an ad set in a women's prison that resembles a porn film. Team leader listens to nobody, sidelines everyone, and blames everyone else for their failure.

Team two make a sludge that can't come out of the bottle, shoot an ad that doesn't feature said bottle at all, and waste time. Team leader listens to nobody, sidelines everyone, and blames everyone else for their failure.

Back in the boardroom, Sweetex is appalled. If he makes either team the winner, he looks stupid. So he decides that both teams have failed miserably. Then he fires one off each team - Emma (vaguely fascist posh totty) and Melica (who has a GCSE in drama, dontcherknow?), because they did nothing except point out how shit things were.

They should have owned that. Said that they were the least responsible for the cumulative cock ups. Oh well, looks now like it'll be Mia as favourite to win, out of the now sexually balanced final 8.

[Abernathy]

"sexually balanced"?

Don't you mean "gender balanced" ?

[Andy McDandy]

Yes. That.

[Abernathy]

Well, that’s a relief. So they weren’t divided into two teams of nymphomaniacs and “water sports” enthusiasts.

[Andy McDandy]

It'd be a novel twist and a sure fire way to breathe life into a moribund format.

[Watchman]

I somehow don’t seek Suran saying “this week I want you to design and pitch a piss dungeon”

[Andy McDandy]

Week 9, the second last team task before the interviews stage. Still nobody leading the pack, and plenty whose continuing presence is simply baffling.

Take Liam for instance. In the clips of them 'off task', he comes across as a bit dim but fundamentally likeable. A lad if there ever was one, quick to crack a bad joke or suggest a drink. But stick him in charge of something and he's a mess.

Which is what we saw last night, as he headed up one of the teams selling things via a shopping channel. You know the drill - can they flog tat while having orders shouted down their ears by twats? Liam's team have most of the strong contenders - Mia (who turns out to be a great seller of stuff), Anisa (quiet but solid) and Jordan (easy manner, good in front of the camera). So Liam handicaps his own team by sticking Jordan in the gallery while he and Mia go in front of the camera, purely out of spite by the looks of things.

At least they choose fairly easy stuff to sell - bathrobes, an air fryer, lightweight vacuum cleaner and so on. The other team choose a kayak, a picnic blanket, and a pair of gloves that look like close relatives of that electric therapy thing Ian Botham used to flog. They don't explain what things do, unless they're making extravagant medical claims (the magic gloves) or explaining too much (the blanket). They sell not much.

On that team, Sranal decides it's not the fault of the women (who were lumbered with the tat to sell), and turns on Max and Dean. Max for making bad decisions, and Dean for not stopping him and generally acting up. Max goes, and Dean fucking survives. Again. This is fucking rigged.

[soulboy]

Worst episode of Gogglebox ever, Sugar's grandson added to the list of characters who have to laugh at Alan's pisspoor, heavily scripted but leadenly delivered bants.

[Andy McDandy]

Onto the last lap now. 7 left, and only 5 can get through to the interview stage. Usually at this point, the editing shifts a little, and we see the candidates actually show off their skills. But now we're in hell on Earth, there's no time for any of that. So the teams are told to invent a fashion label based on recycling old materials, and convince fashion types that they've got what it takes.

Team one consist of Chisola, Dean and Amber-Rose. Chisola goes off to design clothes, while Amber-Rose and Dean - no, scrub that, Amber-Rose designs branding. Dean sits there and vegetates. They design some functional sportswear, sell quite a bit of it, and win.

Yes, Dean - fucking Dean - is through to the last 5. This obnoxious, boorish, pig ignorant thug is...oh yes, look at who's the taskmaster.

On the other team, Jordan takes control. Liam (who says he designs clothes) looks angry. Jordan wants to make functional stuff that sells. Mia wants to sell avant garde stuff. Jordan says no. Mia basically takes over. Anisa does - something? They design some quite niche and funky stuff. Liam looks really annoyed, and does his best to disguise his disgust at dealing with anything a bit 'girly'. They pitch it, and sell a few. The problem is that it's for a niche market, and doesn't have widespread appeal. Once again, dull but functional wins the day.

Liam gets fired for being negative. Mia gets fired for having ideas. Anisa and Jordan go through. Five dullards remain.

[Killer Whale]

Don't know why I'm invested in this, but Mia seemed to be they only one throughout the whole process that could combine creativity and graft. She was rightly pissed off to get the boot.

Jordan is the best salesperson left in. If Sugar doesn't recognise this then he's forgotten which, of all the skills in the world of business, is the most important.

[Andy McDandy]

Judging by previous years, it'll be Chisola because she smiles a lot and has big tits.