[Oboogie]

For goodness sake open a reception centre where refugee claimants can reach it safely.

The Pas-de-Calais would be ideal, if the French are still willing.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

I would imagine that in the current Entente Cordiale they would be more than willing.

[Tubby Isaacs]

Not that they'll get any credit for it.

Every columnist’s kid takes A Levels, probably traditional academic ones, so they’ll indeed get no thanks. The mad papers have already lined Becky Francis up as some sort of leftist obsessed with inclusion at the expense of quality. Inclusion in this case is likely to involve thinking about white working class boys, you’d think that were positive. But they’ll moan about that too.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

"Don't let the oiks in, Tarquin!"